Thanks for all the suggestions. I located a 92kHz piezo device (SMD22T25R211WL made by Steiner & Martins). I expect this will produce consistent SPL, like the Murata @40kHz. If I can scare up a piezo tuned around 20kHz that should allow me to detect a 1st order filter response.
So I think my first shot at this will be to test at 3 fixed frequencies, with & without attenuators & filters, look at peak voltages with a DSO, you get the idea I'm sure. If the transducers are consistent, it should work.
BTW the mic I'm using is the Knowles SPU0410LR5H-QB. Like a lot of MEMS mics, the ultrasonic response is down relative to the audio band, but the noise floor is down too, so with the right filtering it can be useful in the 20kHz-100kHz range. With this particular mic I'm thinking two 1st order highpass filters at 40kHz will eliminate most audible noise, and make the response pretty flat from 20kHz up to its limit. (I know it's a droopy design, but take a look at the datasheet
http://www.knowles.com/download/file?p=SPU0410LR5H.pdf
. Droopy may work for once.)
What I'm hoping to produce is an acoustic highpass, followed by an electronic highpass, both at 40kHz. The former is to help mitigate overloading the mic with audio noise. As others have noted, these mics don't respond well when overdriven.
Can't wait to see where this goes....