Can you post some pictures, as clear as possible, especially area around connector?
It could be something simple as the classic 8bit parallel connection : Voltage, Ground, lcd contrast, RS, RW, EN, Data 0 ..8 , Backlight Anode and Cathode (maybe 3 pins, for RGB backlight), maybe 1-2 pins for select chip (maybe 2 controllers are used, one for each half of the display, setting one pin high enables a particular chip)
Here's an example of lcd display with two controllers on it and pins to select active controller :
NHD-12864WG-BTFH-V#N, and here's datasheet for it:
http://www.newhavendisplay.com/specs/NHD-12864WG-BTFH-VN.pdfSeeing the actual header and how the traces are going on the circuit board may help determine things.