3.5mm jack detection is very easy, because they just have a 4th contact that is displaced when the plug is inserted - XLR connectors don't have this as part of their basic design. If you want mic sensing, you're probably going to have to do it in circuitry, and while that's not too tough if you have phantom power on (you can just look for current consumption), it's going to be tricky for other mics.
If you want detection on such a jack..... I'd just use a TRS jack with the 4th contact for detection, then use TRS to XLR adapters.