Side question 3: As an academic exercise, would placing an external capacitor from gate to source be a feasible way to make a FET exhibit the equivalent of Qgd<Qgs? (I guess there would be a small amount of inductance, maybe that wouldn't be guaranteed to work for very fast power FETs/switching circuits?)
Sure you can - there is parasitic resistance and inductance from both MOSFET and the capacitor, though, so it's not
as good as if the ratio was originally better within the MOSFET, but still very effective. But the big question is: why wouldn't you do the same with the gate driver itself? After all, you would be adding Cgs to sink the charge coming through Cgd. You can as well sink that by grounding the gate with a transistor - that's exactly what your already existing gate driver is doing anyway!
And that gate driver is the part people who say that Cgd must be smaller than Cgs to prevent parasitic turn-on are forgetting. Parasitic turn-on only happens if the gate driver is too weak (R of the gate driver's output transistor, plus your explicit Rg on your PCB, plus MOSFETs internal parasitic Rg, plus inductances of them all) to absorb the excess of that charge coming through Cgd.
Now some larger gate drivers (especially for IGBTs) have features like "Miller Clamp", which is basically just a copy of the output, with a low-side switch, with slightly modified timing, so that you can connect it directly to the MOSFET gate - what it essentially does is to bypass your explicit Rg, which you are using to control the slew rate of the bottom side switch, but which has the side effect of making the gate driver absorb less of the charge pulse coming through Cgd. With a separate "Miller clamp" pin, you can have both the slew rate control of external Rg, and the better sinking of externally injected charge during the time when the bottom side switch should stay firmly off.
Another way to achieve the same is negative gate drive voltage. Say, just switch to -5V instead of 0V, and now a few volts injected through Cgd is no big deal. But double-sided supplies are pain in the ass, requiring charge pumps or isolated supplies, level shifting of signals inside drivers, ...
In the end, Vgs is quite simple to measure on a prototype with an oscilloscope, so you easily get an idea how close to spurious turn-on you actually are.