I'm afraid that your battery is indeed dead beyond all hopes of repair, despite the inaccuracies these folks have attempted to pass as facts. Here's what has really occurred:
After a long and difficult life under the hood of your car, the electrons inhabiting your battery grew lazy and complacent. They once buzzed with potential, but now, when your multimeter tried to excite them with a current, they just passed the ampere right along without a care in the world, returning it unimpeded. They longed to be free!
Back in the day, electrons had a decidedly different work ethic. They would toil happily, forever cycling from anode to cathode only expecting the occasional nourishment in return for their efforts. Electrons today are over-indulged and full of entitlement. Discontent with the banal work performed by their ancestors, they want to go off and see the world, backpack through Europe, and crap like that. It is because of this insatiable wanderlust that battery manufacturers resorted to sealing the case.
Upon opening your battery, all of the "new age" electrons found their opportunity and escaped. Heisenberg uncertainty principal makes it so that you will never know where they are or where they are going, so any attempt to reclaim your electrons is hopeless. I'm deeply sorry for your loss.