Hey guys, thanks for all the info. I do have a quick update regarding to the situation, and a surprising one at that.
After straight up failing to reach Weller repairs for a few times, my expectations were pretty low. I was either going to end up with an extremely expensive brick or a refund if I'm lucky, since this is completely closed sourced and there is no possible way for a third party to interface with the device, let alone repair it.
Before I decided to move forward with any of that, I tried my luck one last time and left a message on their web system. And to my surprise, I received a reply the same day; a reply not from a bot, but an actual well spoken person.
I thought to myself, I might end up paying out the ass given this day and age, but it is probably still cheaper than getting another one. Also, one of the reasons why I was so hesitant on doing a return is because I acquired this one through the essentially equivalent of a liquidation sale for a new old stock.
Fast forward a few exchanges later, I was even more surprised than previously thought possible when I learned that they are willing to do this repair at no charge and are even willing to cover the return shipping; when every other company would gouge the customer out the ass.
God bless these guys.