Microchip just called me. I reckon it was from the UK because of the accent.
Summed up, he basically said that if I want lifetime warranty I'll have to pay the return shipping. Else I'll be kept out of the loop.
I told him I didn't want to pay the return shipping, and according to EU policy shouldn't have to.
After alot of talking back and forth. Being told how they care for their customers etc. I mentioned the quality of their 200 dollar programmer, and how I could probably repair it myself for less than the return shipping etc.
In the end he said he will have to take it up with some department, don't remember which, and get back to me. Will probably have to wait a few weeks more
*Edit*
Also mentioned I was willing to accept the equillant sum in discount on my next purchase, but that didn't work. Seems very troublesome for them to do anything else than follow protocols seemingly written stone
*Edit2*
Checked my log. The call was from Ireland, not UK
*Edt3*
Spoke with a very sympathetic guy at their Irish department. Not wanting to waste any more time on this I accepted their original offer. Even if I get them to pay the return shipping, they could still have me without a programmer for X number of weeks, instead of their usual procedure where they send you a working one before you return the old damaged unit