Success!
I didn't do any drag soldering.
I added solder to the PLCC pads, as much as they would reasonably hold, I also wetted the bottom of the PLCC pins with the same solder, to make sure it will solder easily. (not much solder was retained by the pins).
Then I removed all old flux, added fresh tacky flux, and used only hot air to solder the chip. Then I double-checked all pins with a multimeter, so that there are no adjacent pins shorting, and all connections are made. The ML4812CQ I originally had in the power supply was Fairchild branded, but the one that I replaced it with had the older Micro Linear branding.
The first two power-ups of the power supply were successful.
The third power-up blew the 8A fuse (and a 16A B curve MCB in the electrical panel), and one of the IRFP450 PFC switchers went shorted again. The PFC controller survived, it was only the one mosfet that died.
The only significant thing I did differently on the third power up, is that I waited less than 3 seconds between unplugging and replugging the power supply.I think this power supply might be sensitive to unplugging/replugging immediately. (either that or it died again by random chance)
I replaced the dead IRFP450 with the old working one I removed from the original pair. (I didn't have any new ones at hand, I didn't order any extra).
Then the power supply started working again, and it's been working fine ever since.
I have measured that the voltage on the big PFC bulk capacitor goes from about 380V to about 30V, in 16 seconds. (From 30 volts down the rest of the discharge takes a lot longer)
I have now tested many times unplugging the power supply and waiting 16 seconds, and plugging it back again, and there have been no failures.
I'm sorry but I won't test purposefully killing it with shorter than 16 second unplugs, so we probably won't know if my theory is correct.
The oscilloscope works perfectly (after re-seating the RAM. It wouldn't boot without a re-seat)
The only disappointment I have is I tried a 128GB mSATA with an 44-pin PATA to mSATA adapter and it didn't work (this one:
https://www.emag.ro/convertor-ide-44-pini-la-msata-frame-2-5-pana-la-7-mm-delock-62495/pd/DDZJ5ZBBM/ )
I dd'd over the original harddisk image without modification, including the MBR.
Interestingly it recognized the size of the disk in the BIOS, but I got a "Missing Operating System" message.