Over the years i fired a few customers because of their disrespectful behaviour, or who tried to press me for unreasonable discount, or who did not honored terms and conditions.
Me: "Hello Z-Mart? Yes this is me, I want to order a new coffee maker!"
Z-Mart: "I'm sorry sir - but you have been fired"
Me: "Huh? I don't work there, I'm a customer!"
Z-Mart: "Yes sir, but you have been fired - we regularly fire customers"
Me: "How can you fire a customer? I don't understand, did I not pay for something?"
Z-Mart: "You have returned 3 items in the last month. We fire any customers that return 3 or more items in a month"
Me: "But your policy states that you will happily accept any returns!"
Z-Mart: "Well, this is an unwritten policy. Besides, we were told that you posted a bad review of Z-Mart on the internet"
Me: "WTF?"
Z-Mart: "Your money is not welcome here. This conversation can serve no purpose any longer. Goodbye"
Me: "I've been fired!"