Soldering iron tips are constructed as below:
As you can see in the core you have copper to transfer heat effectively to the tip. The nickel plating serves as a base for the chrome plating which does not form a metallic bond with solder (it doesnt 'wet').
The tip of the...tip is coated with iron that forms a metallic bond with solder. A layer of tin is applied during production of the tip. The thickness of the iron varies, it is particularly thick for ERSADUR tips pictured.
When you scratch the tip, apply excessive force, bend it or otherwise damage the iron plating, the copper core is exposed. Tin literally dissolves copper. As a result, after a while your tip looks like it had a piece of it bitten away.
Do not feed solder directly onto the tip!. Lead free solder has much more tin (almost entirely tin) that leaded solder.
Use leaded solder whenever possible and wash your hands before eating!.
Iron oxidises in oxygen. Applying a layer of solder on the tip protects the iron from reacting with oxygen.
Always apply solder before putting the iron back in the stand.This reaction happens faster at elevated temperatures.
Use the minimum temperature that will create consistent solder joints and/or get a temperature controlled soldering iron. For lead-free solder 320 deg C is a good starting point.
Cleaning the tip on a wet sponge causes thermal shock to the layers of plating. Different metals contract at different rates therefore repeated cleaning causes the layer stack to fall apart.
Get a dry tip sponge.. The mild abrasive action cleans off residues of burnt flux too.
Use the tip cleaner only if the above have failed, otherwise you wont need to.
Tin forms intermetallic bonds with the iron plating on the tip, 0.5 micro meters being typical. Every time you clean your tip some of the iron that formed the bonds with tin is wiped away.
Tips will eventually die.Following the tips in bold will maximise the life of your tip.
I have an ERSA ICON-2 that I can review, but I don't have the hot tweezers for it. It is at the top of the range for hand soldering/desoldering that does not involve IR. Dave can review some of the lower end stations/irons, but there is not much to it and I dont think he has such a thing about soldering irons. But I am sure other members have very good stations that they can post reviews of. I also have access to a great value for money OKI PS-900 which I could slip under the door for a review.