Test Equipment Anonymous (TEA) group therapy thread

[Cerebus]

My friends are fearing me and my funny jokes. 

In Germany we are calling them "Flachwitze" - literally flat jokes but the correct translation is lame jokes.

"Dad Jokes" is the English idiom.

e.g. "What's yellow and dangerous?" ... "Shark infested custard."

[bd139]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

[Cerebus]

^See, a real live English Dad.
|

[med6753]

 

[mnementh]

And don't forget the classic "Light Bulb" joke format...

"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

"Only two; but damifino how they got in there."

mnem
The Geneva convention expressly permits use of tactical nukes in case of "Yo Momma..." jokes.

[BU508A]

Q: "How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?"

A: "Take away their little brooms."

 

[mnementh]

Clearly, Canadian bacon has entirely too much free time and discretionary income.   

mnem
This message brought to you by "Bits o' Pig" brand bacon & hams.

[BU508A]

My friends are fearing me and my funny jokes. 

In Germany we are calling them "Flachwitze" - literally flat jokes but the correct translation is lame jokes.

"Dad Jokes" is the English idiom.

e.g. "What's yellow and dangerous?" ... "Shark infested custard."

 

[AVGresponding]

Any more of this and the mods will close the thread

[mnementh]

Oh, come now... we've managed 4 whole pages with no politics or religion; I think we're doing pretty flupping good. 

mnem
"Flup!" is the sound your pants make when you have a wardrobe malfunction in front of mom-in-law with your hands full of dinner plates and can't do a damn thing aboot it.

[med6753]

Oh, come now... we've managed 4 whole pages with no politics or religion; I think we're doing pretty flupping good. 

mnem
"Flup!" is the sound your pants make when you have a wardrobe malfunction in front of mom-in-law with your hands full of dinner plates and can't do a damn thing aboot it.

Can I get an "AMEN" ? 

[AVGresponding]

Sorry, I mistyped.

What I meant to say was, "Any more of this and I'll ask the mods to close the thread"   

[Ero-Shan]

We call it "Gartenhäusle".

My poor grasp of German coming to the fore here. Is that "-le" a diminutive ending, like "-let" would be in English? So an English semi-translation would be 'Garden-Houselet', a 'little' house in the garden, yes? I've not (consciously) seen "-le" as a diminutive before, although I'd recognise "-chen", as in Kännchen (little pot) and Kätzchen (little cat, kitten) as a diminutive.

Spot on! We Swabians love this diminutive. Of course, A Kännchen is a Kännle to us.

[Ice-Tea]

Got me a few 2245A's that look *really* clean.

Fingers crossed!

[AVGresponding]

Some cheap tzzzzzttt:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Labnet-International-PEQ-Power-300-Electrophoresis-Power-Supply/293966093981



This does not seem horrifically expensive:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Keysight-N2795A-1GHz-Active-Probe-Excellent-Condition/383909749386



Baby scope doo doo do do do do:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Tektronix-214-storage-oscilloscope-portable-old-plug-untested/174600325097



Another not expensive probe:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Tektronix-P6046-Probe-and-Amplifier-boxed-with-instructions-on-CD/224319773473



Someone else needs to buy this before I succumb to temptation:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/HP-54615B-500MHz-Oscilloscope/293967460903



The original smart phone:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/ORIGINAL-VINTAGE-TELEPHONE-DICTOGRAPH-SYSTEM-ART-DECO-1930s/184628239988



But has it been into space..? (rhetorical question, ofc it hasn't):

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/NASA-Video-Navtex-3/324458502102

[cyclin_al]

Ah a Duracell. Unlucky

I got one with an Ever Ready battery in it a couple of years back that hadn't leaked. The battery was circa 37 years old at the time:



I was surprised at this!

Interesting, I have never seen an EverReady battery in a Red on Blue and White colour scheme before.
The old ones here in the great white north had a Red on Black colour scheme.  I have never seen the old ones leak either.

[McBryce]

I know somehow I'm included in this but your humor (humour) is just too damn high brow for me to get. Now if it included farts or perhaps a Benny Hill like 3x speed comedy scene with a piss stop in the woods I might have gotten it. 

"High brow" is where your joke relies on the listener knowing the cast list of "Tristan and Isolde" before they can get the joke, not merely engaging a degree of subtlety that's short of using a pail of whitewash and a squirting flower. My sense of humour has been accused of many things before, words and phrases like "puerile", "terrible puns", "get your coat", "filthy", "perverted" and "If you come back we're calling the Police" have been used, but never "high brow" until now.

Well I guess it's because your targeted audience composes of some knuckle draggers with large brows. 

When it comes to crazy eyebrows, the Germans win hands down. Nothing beats crazy like Germany's ex-finance minister Theo Waigel:

https://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/article7326848/Schuldensuendern-das-EU-Stimmrecht-entziehen.html#cs-jm-waigel-BM-Bayern-Berlin-jpg.jpg

The man just doesn't care!

McBryce.

[cyclin_al]

How do you say it in Texas when a ski lift stops because of a rocket launch?

"Houston, we have a lift off!"

*duck and run*

  

Soggy ole' ski boots are gonna hurt a lot more than regular ole' soggy boots 

[Cerebus]

Sorry, I mistyped.

What I meant to say was, "Any more of this and I'll ask the mods to close the thread"   

What closed, like a door?

When is a door not a door? When it's "a jar". 

I'm here all week folks! Remember to tell your friends!

[mnementh]

I know somehow I'm included in this but your humor (humour) is just too damn high brow for me to get. Now if it included farts or perhaps a Benny Hill like 3x speed comedy scene with a piss stop in the woods I might have gotten it. 

"High brow" is where your joke relies on the listener knowing the cast list of "Tristan and Isolde" before they can get the joke, not merely engaging a degree of subtlety that's short of using a pail of whitewash and a squirting flower. My sense of humour has been accused of many things before, words and phrases like "puerile", "terrible puns", "get your coat", "filthy", "perverted" and "If you come back we're calling the Police" have been used, but never "high brow" until now.

Well I guess it's because your targeted audience composes of some knuckle draggers with large brows.     

When it comes to crazy eyebrows, the Germans win hands down. Nothing beats crazy like Germany's ex-finance minister Theo Waigel:

https://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/article7326848/Schuldensuendern-das-EU-Stimmrecht-entziehen.html#cs-jm-waigel-BM-Bayern-Berlin-jpg.jpg

The man just doesn't care!

McBryce.

That's nothing compared to listening to my wife sing opera in German. You know she's singing aboot the end of the world or cussing you out, no matter what the piece is actually aboot. 


mnem
Not with rented phalanges.

[Specmaster]

My friends are fearing me and my funny jokes. 

In Germany we are calling them "Flachwitze" - literally flat jokes but the correct translation is lame jokes.

"Dad Jokes" is the English idiom.

e.g. "What's yellow and dangerous?" ... "Shark infested custard."

 

That joke requires an urgent crutch 

[Cerebus]

When it comes to crazy eyebrows, the Germans win hands down. Nothing beats crazy like Germany's ex-finance minister Theo Waigel:

https://www.welt.de/politik/deutschland/article7326848/Schuldensuendern-das-EU-Stimmrecht-entziehen.html#cs-jm-waigel-BM-Bayern-Berlin-jpg.jpg

The man just doesn't care!

McBryce.

We had our own version, Dennis Healey (former Chancellor of the Exchequer) who almost gives your Theo Waigel a run for his money.

[Specmaster]

Yes, it is a diminutive.   Haus - Häuschen (High German) - Häusle (Swabian German) - Hüüsli (Swiss German)   Gartenhäuschen - Gartenhäusle - a little house or a shed in the garden

Ahh, High German, so I've been hanging around with posh Germans eh?  What do you call the dialect that you learn down the docks? That's probably more fitting for me to adopt. 

Dave ist nicht hier, Mann...

mnem
*shameless*

Groan...

That requires a tiger sized "head in hands":

Sorry, I mistyped.

What I meant to say was, "Any more of this and I'll ask the mods to close the thread"   

What closed, like a door?

When is a door not a door? When it's "a jar". 

I'm here all week folks! Remember to tell your friends!

[mnementh]

We had our own version, Dennis Healey (former Chancellor of the Exchequer) who almost gives your Theo Waigel a run for his money.

   

mnem
 

[mnementh]

Yes, it is a diminutive.   Haus - Häuschen (High German) - Häusle (Swabian German) - Hüüsli (Swiss German)   Gartenhäuschen - Gartenhäusle - a little house or a shed in the garden

Ahh, High German, so I've been hanging around with posh Germans eh?  What do you call the dialect that you learn down the docks? That's probably more fitting for me to adopt. 

Dave ist nicht hier, Mann...

mnem
*shameless*

Groan...   That requires a tiger sized "head in hands":   

Sorry, I mistyped.   What I meant to say was, "Any more of this and I'll ask the mods to close the thread"   

What closed, like a door? When is a door not a door? When it's "a jar". 
I'm here all week folks! Remember to tell your friends!

mnem
*toddles off to do something constructive*