Lame joke time.

[wilfred]

A guy walks into a bar and orders ten times the beers everyone else has. The barman says "Now THAT's and order of magnitude!"

[strangelovemd12]

There are 2 types of people in this world.  Those who understand binary, and those who don't.



*chirp*

What?  Did I tell it wrong?

[c4757p]

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand ternary, those who do not, and those who confuse it for binary.

[sachleen]

I prefer

Those who understand binary,
those who don't,
and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke.

[c4757p]

Ah yes, that version actually has the potential to be funny. Mine spoils the joke before it's over...

[strangelovemd12]

Whatever the format, I think we can all agree that there are n types of people in this world, and none of them use quadrivigesimal.  Unless they use a credit card.

[Skimask]

What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

[Rerouter]

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

Dam Wall

(You asked for lame jokes)

[Stonent]

What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?

Bean him because he's about to walk anyway.

[peter.mitchell]

If only you and dead people can read HEX how many people can read hex?
57006

[Stonent]

If only you and dead people can read HEX how many people can read hex?
57006

DEAE? 

[free_electron]

How do you make an elephant disappear ?
Put a bowler hat on it.


Ever seen an elephant with a bowler hat ? So that's proof it works !

[andtfoot]

Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?


For being outstanding in his field. 

[experimentalist]

If only you and dead people can read HEX how many people can read hex?
57006

DEAE? 

57006 is gools upside down.

[ludzinc]

*AKA DAD'S JOKES *

What's blue and smells like red paint?

 

Blue Paint!

What's the difference between Broccoli and cold snot?

You can't get kids to eat Broccoli!

 

[PA0PBZ]

If only you and dead people can read HEX how many people can read hex?
57006

DEAE? 

57006 is gools upside down.

Also DEAD + 1 (you) 

[deth502]

why does a chicken coup have 2 doors?

if it had 4 doors, it'd be a chicken sedan.





a grizzly bear walks into a bar. he tells the bartender, "ill have a scotch....
..
...
...
...
..
on the rocks"

the bartender asks, "why the big pause?"

the bear replies, "i dont know, ive always had them"




i tried to push the envelope, but i found it was stationary.

[AlfBaz]

What do you find up a clean nose?


Fingerprints

[G7PSK]

A man walks into a pharmacy in Glasgow where there is a Sweedish assistant and asks for some deodorant, the assistant asks him "Ball or aerosol" in a heavy accent, the man reply's " I was hoping for underarm actually"

[TerraHertz]

What do you call a Klingon machinist?
Swarf.


Conductance is infutile!

[peter.mitchell]

If only you and dead people can read HEX how many people can read hex?
57006

DEAE? 

57006 is gools upside down.

Also DEAD + 1 (you) 

10/10

A man walks into a pharmacy in Glasgow where there is a Sweedish assistant and asks for some deodorant, the assistant asks him "Ball or aerosol" in a heavy accent, the man reply's " I was hoping for underarm actually"

That is actually a pretty good one.

*AKA DAD'S JOKES *

What's blue and smells like red paint?

 

Blue Paint!

What's the difference between Broccoli and cold snot?

You can't get kids to eat Broccoli!

 

What is red and looks like a bucket?
A red bucket.
What is blue and looks like a bucket?
A blue bucket?
No, a red bucket in disguise.

Did you hear about the irish man who tried to blow up the bus?
He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe.

[lemmegraphdat]

A rope walks to a bar and the sign outside says "We do not serve ropes." The rope ties himself into a knot and frays his ends a bit. He walks into the bar and the bartender says "We do not serve ropes in here and you're a rope aincha'?" The rope says "No, I'm afraid not."

[AlfBaz]

A rope walks to a bar and the sign outside says "We do not serve ropes." The rope ties himself into a knot and frays his ends a bit. He walks into the bar and the bartender says "We do not serve ropes in here and you're a rope aincha'?" The rope says "No, I'm afraid not."

Probably the same bar...
A white horse walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bar tender says "Hey, we have a drink named after you" the white horse replies "What... Eric?"

[NiHaoMike]

I prefer

Those who understand binary,
those who don't,
and those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke.

Those who understand binary...
Those who don't...
Those who are undecided...
Those who don't answer...
And those who argue!

[Neilm]

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

Dam Wall

(You asked for lame jokes)

Two fish in a tank. One looks at the other and says "You drive, I work the guns"