Your schematic is pretty much unreadable, sorry.
A couple of general comments:
1: 5 V PC fans are almost all brushless DC motor powered with integrated controllers.
2: 2-wire 5 V PC fans should be controlled by a relatively low frequency PWM, eg, 100 Hz. You're turning on and off the controller all the time.
3: using a modern 4-wire PC fan is much easier. You just need to provide a 25 kHz PWM signal on a separate pin.
Price wise I see no major difference today.