Reference plane = whatever plane is directly adjacent to a signal line, usually you try to make this ground, but it can be a power plane.
The trick is to avoid having a signal with a fast edge (it does not matter what the frequency is, only the rise and fall times) cross the edge of its reference plane as that will cause the return current (which flows in the reference plane) to have to find an alternative route causing you EMC and possibly SI problems.
For this reason I like a single ground plane on L2 with the bulk of the fast routing on L1, the proximity of the ground plane helps in all sorts of ways even if you are not doing controlled impedance design.
I figure I could probably get both your power polygons on L4, with a buried signal layer on L3 (the other side of the ground plane) for those annoying bits of net that need to cross tracks on L1.
Vias down to the ground plane are entirely normal, they add about 1nH of inductance, not usually a big deal.
I would probably pour a ground polygon on L3 after routing the rest of the board so as to equalise the copper load with the ground plane on L2, but for a mere 4 layer board at 1.6mm it is probably not critical.
Do add stitching between the grounds if you have them on more then one layer, it nearly never hurts.
Regards, Dan.