Author Topic: engineering jokes  (Read 113914 times)

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Offline MrMobodies

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #550 on: August 31, 2023, 10:39:27 pm »
Q: How does HP care for their printer owners?



A: They STRANGLE them with ink, a locked down printer and subscriptions.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2023, 10:44:10 pm by MrMobodies »
 
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Offline coppercone2

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #551 on: September 01, 2023, 12:25:22 am »
 
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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #552 on: September 02, 2023, 07:24:27 am »
"Did you hear that NASA ist about to launch a new mission to say sorry to aliens for Earth polluting space? It's called Apollo G."
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #553 on: September 02, 2023, 07:31:50 am »
Very ingenious ...

“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline MrMobodies

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #554 on: September 03, 2023, 12:24:40 am »
I wonder how much power all those hair dryers might be using:

There seems to be one with the plug disconnected and dangling out so not all of them maybe switched on.
 

Offline coppercone2

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #555 on: September 03, 2023, 01:41:15 am »
its for youtube you can just turn the fans on

a more serious device would be a 'hot air knife' that squeegees you top to bottom
 
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Offline bernie79

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #556 on: September 03, 2023, 09:04:12 pm »
Coppercone2 wrote at
https://www.eevblog.com/forum/chat/engineering-jokes/550/?action=post;last_msg=5041306

(video of a NE555 walking 5:01...)

Forget about the escaping bug. I WANT THAT BOARD!

Every 3.0 seconds the bugs comes by the gap. The video goes 300 seconds so its 100 blocks wide of 80 pins each.
That makes this board 8000pins big with 1.52 Meter or 60 inches wide. 8)
 

Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #557 on: September 05, 2023, 09:13:15 am »
Administratium

New chemical Element Discovered

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have one neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons and 111 assistant vice neutrons, which gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than a second.

Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. It can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.



Source:
https://teanonymous.com/f1/viewtopic.php?p=5244&sid=d432316d803718821434117e019773eb#p5244
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline MrMobodies

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #558 on: September 05, 2023, 12:45:49 pm »
Scientists point out that *1 administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction *3 where it is allowed to accumulate. *2 Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

Reminds me of this:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12223191/The-Post-Office-covered-prosecutions-hundreds-innocent-postmasters-fraud.html
Quote
In 2015, Vennells told the parliamentary Business Select Committee that there was ‘no evidence’ of any miscarriages of justice. That was not true.

While the cover-up was in full swing, *1 the Post Office rubbished Second Sight, misled journalists and continued to dismiss the complaints of campaigning sub-postmasters.

*2 The Liberal Democrat and then Conservative ministers who ran the Business department during this period seem to have been asleep at the wheel.

...
*3 Vennells, who was paid more than £500,000 a year throughout her tenure, had been given one job by her government masters: to make the loss-making Post Office profitable.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2023, 04:49:47 pm by MrMobodies »
 

Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #559 on: September 13, 2023, 05:56:05 pm »
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline SiliconWizard

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #560 on: September 13, 2023, 11:43:31 pm »
Ahah, priceless.
 

Offline opabob

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #561 on: September 14, 2023, 05:31:00 pm »
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
I use that for my work email signature.
Why did the Diode kiss the Capacitor.
He just couldn't Resistor
 

Offline armandine2

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #562 on: September 14, 2023, 06:38:59 pm »
Google search - not so funny  :-DD

definitely a joke   :palm:
Funny, the things you have the hardest time parting with are the things you need the least - Bob Dylan
 

Offline eutectique

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #563 on: September 14, 2023, 09:34:50 pm »
There seems to be one with the plug disconnected and dangling out so not all of them maybe switched on.

It was one too many for the fuse to handle.
 

Offline Kjelt

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #564 on: September 17, 2023, 11:42:53 am »
Not so much a joke as how to circumvent AI build in safety rules  |O

 
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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #565 on: September 17, 2023, 06:20:36 pm »
REWARD!

REWARD OFFERED:
A REWARD OF 500 MICROFARADS IS OFFERED FOR THE INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF HOP-A-LONG CAPACITY. THIS UNRECTIFIED CRIMINAL ESCAPED FROM A WESTERN PRIMARY CELL WHERE HE HAD BEEN CLAMPED IN IONS AWAITING THE GAUSS CHAMBER.
HE IS CHARGED WITH THE INDUCTION OF AN 18 TURN COIL NAMED MILLI HENRY WHO WAS FOUND CHOKED AND ROBBED OF VALUABLE JOULES. HE IS ARMED WITH A CARBON ROD AND IS A POTENTIAL KILLER. CAPACITY IS ALSO CHARGED WITH DRIVING DC MOTOR OVER A WHEATSTONE BRIDGE AND REFUSING TO LET THE BAND-PASS.
IF ENCOUNTERED, HE MAY OFFER SERIES OF RESISTANCE. THE ELECTROMOTIVE FORCE SPENT THE NIGHT SEARCHING FOR HIM IN A MAGNETIC FIELD, WHERE HE HAD GONE TO EARTH. THEY HAD NO SUCCESS AND BELIEVED HE HAD RETURNED OHM VIA A SHORT CIRCUIT
HE WAS LAST SEEN RIDING A KILOCYCLE WITH HIS FRIEND EDDY CURRENT WHO WAS PLAYING A HARMONIC.

Source:
https://mastodon.ai8w.ddns.net/@admin/111081766413936387
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline opabob

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #566 on: September 18, 2023, 02:59:36 pm »
  :-// Are we still aloud to say GENDERCHANGER?  :-//
Why did the Diode kiss the Capacitor.
He just couldn't Resistor
 

Offline TimFox

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #567 on: September 18, 2023, 04:07:50 pm »
Not in Florida...
 

Offline soldar

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #568 on: September 18, 2023, 06:50:17 pm »
So there's four engineers in a restaurant, one from Germany, one from USA, one from UK and one from Spain.

And the one from Spain says to the others "So what can I serve you for dinner tonight?"
All my posts are made with 100% recycled electrons and bare traces of grey matter.
 

Offline Nominal Animal

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #569 on: September 18, 2023, 09:58:53 pm »
:-// Are we still aloud to say GENDERCHANGER?  :-//
Only quietly.
 
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Offline Kjelt

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #570 on: September 19, 2023, 08:15:13 pm »
We don't need those anymore  ;)
 
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Offline rfclown

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #571 on: September 21, 2023, 12:07:15 am »
So I have in iguana who's been pooping in my pool. So I Google about how to keep iguanas away from a pool. I assume this site was done by AI: https://biobubblepets.com/how-to-keep-your-iguana-away-from-the-pool/

because it contains such nonsense as:
"Sublimation is the process by which a ball of moths is converted from solid to gas without becoming liquid. When moths are released, they become irresistible to lizards, who become distracted and repelled by their distinct odor."

and:
"If you hide in a dark room, it’s probably a good idea to hide in that room."

and:
"You can make the appearance of your home or pool area less appealing to lizards by making it appear less appealing to them. ... Remove vegetation that they may find hiding. Keeping your pool clean and free of debris is an excellent way to keep lizards away from dirty water."
 

Offline metrologist

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #572 on: September 22, 2023, 01:13:27 am »
Let me one-ups your AI site...

Move somewhere else.

Ha Ha
 

Online RoGeorge

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #573 on: September 24, 2023, 07:01:38 am »
- I've made an entire website with code from ChatGPT.  Wanna see it?
- Yes.
- C:\Users\me\Desktop\website\index.html
 
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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #574 on: October 03, 2023, 05:10:06 am »
Did you know?

“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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