Kids And Happiness

[asmi]

I must have missed that specific "resolution" the first time it came around...  I wonder if any of these people regret being attached to this now that it's not so trendy.  While it's mostly generally irrelevant internet people, there are some actual names in there. (did they make that block of text impossible to read on purpose?)

"If you're not a liberal at 20, you have no heart; if you're not a conservative by 40, you have no brain" (C) I hope they will eventually grow out of this, and will do something more productive than this tilting at windmills.

[EEVblog]

"If you're not a liberal at 20, you have no heart; if you're not a conservative by 40, you have no brain" (C) I hope they will eventually grow out of this, and will do something more productive than this tilting at windmills.

I gotta admit I was a bit surprised but very happy to see that Limor and Phil have become parents, that's awesome, I'm so happy for them. So many choose not to these days, it seems especially trendy for those with a liberal bent, not the mention hyper business focused.

[asmi]

I gotta admit I was a bit surprised but very happy to see that Limor and Phil have become parents, that's awesome, I'm so happy for them. So many choose not to these days, it seems especially trendy for those with a liberal bent, not the mention hyper business focused.

Me too, but like I said, people tend to tilt conservative as they age, the problem often is that by the time this happens many women are already reaching the end of their "time window" to have babies, so of course I'm happy that they have become parents before it was too late. I have become a father quite late (at 40), and one thing I wish I would've done so earlier - I prioritized my professional development to make sure I can comfortably support an entire family on a single income, but this has become an endless race to no end, so at some point we have decided to go for it before it became too late.

[nctnico]

I gotta admit I was a bit surprised but very happy to see that Limor and Phil have become parents, that's awesome, I'm so happy for them. So many choose not to these days, it seems especially trendy for those with a liberal bent, not the mention hyper business focused.

Me too, but like I said, people tend to tilt conservative as they age, the problem often is that by the time this happens many women are already reaching the end of their "time window" to have babies, so of course I'm happy that they have become parents before it was too late. I have become a father quite late (at 40), and one thing I wish I would've done so earlier - I prioritized my professional development to make sure I can comfortably support an entire family on a single income, but this has become an endless race to no end, so at some point we have decided to go for it before it became too late.

It is better to have kids when you are young. Period. For as long as you have work, money will come in and it will dissapear no matter what. And people who don't want to have kids are idiots. There is nothing more rewarding in life.

[asmi]

It is better to have kids when you are young. Period. For as long as you have work, money will come in and it will dissapear no matter what. And people who don't want to have kids are idiots. There is nothing more rewarding in life.

Hindsight is always 20/20.

[NiHaoMike]

Me too, but like I said, people tend to tilt conservative as they age, the problem often is that by the time this happens many women are already reaching the end of their "time window" to have babies, so of course I'm happy that they have become parents before it was too late. I have become a father quite late (at 40), and one thing I wish I would've done so earlier - I prioritized my professional development to make sure I can comfortably support an entire family on a single income, but this has become an endless race to no end, so at some point we have decided to go for it before it became too late.

I get the impression that the ladies have it much easier in STEM. They get to pick out a partner among the countless many who are into STEM while the guys have to find one of the few ladies who are into STEM and are still single but want a partner.

[nctnico]

Me too, but like I said, people tend to tilt conservative as they age, the problem often is that by the time this happens many women are already reaching the end of their "time window" to have babies, so of course I'm happy that they have become parents before it was too late. I have become a father quite late (at 40), and one thing I wish I would've done so earlier - I prioritized my professional development to make sure I can comfortably support an entire family on a single income, but this has become an endless race to no end, so at some point we have decided to go for it before it became too late.

I get the impression that the ladies have it much easier in STEM. They get to pick out a partner among the countless many who are into STEM while the guys have to find one of the few ladies who are into STEM and are still single but want a partner.

IMHO wanting a partner who does the same work as you is not a good starting point at all. A relationship doesn't work that way.

[asmi]

I get the impression that the ladies have it much easier in STEM. They get to pick out a partner among the countless many who are into STEM while the guys have to find one of the few ladies who are into STEM and are still single but want a partner.

Your partner does not have to be from the same field as you are.

[Siwastaja]

I get the impression that the ladies have it much easier in STEM. They get to pick out a partner among the countless many who are into STEM while the guys have to find one of the few ladies who are into STEM and are still single but want a partner.

Your partner does not have to be from the same field as you are.

And we don't need to feed NiHaoMike with this offtopic. We have heard this same nonsense/fantasy from him countless of times.

[EEVblog]

It is better to have kids when you are young. Period. For as long as you have work, money will come in and it will dissapear no matter what. And people who don't want to have kids are idiots. There is nothing more rewarding in life.

Another Youtuber I watch that just announced she's pregnant after recently getting married is Ellie in Space. She's so freaking happy it's amazing to see.
I've got to say that I do notice the "happiness" level between those that are married with kids, and those that aren't is quite stark. Not entirely universal, but usually very noticeable.
Getting off-topic though.

[Analog Kid]

And people who don't want to have kids are idiots.

Whoa there, buddy: I represent that remark.

Don't want any kids here.
And it's not that I don't like kids; I do. Just don't want to be the one responsible for them.

[EEVblog]

And it's not that I don't like kids; I do. Just don't want to be the one responsible for them.

Responsibility for the growth of another life is the ultimate reward in life.

[Halcyon]

And people who don't want to have kids are idiots.

Whoa there, buddy: I represent that remark.

Don't want any kids here.
And it's not that I don't like kids; I do. Just don't want to be the one responsible for them.

I'm in the same boat. My partner and I never want children. We have enough of them in our lives through our family. Our careers and living life generally gives us all the fulfilment we desire. For us, children would only be a hinderance. We may get a dog one day, but that's TBD.

If having children is fulfilling to you and "completes" your life, more power to you, but it doesn't for us. Each to their own.

[Cyclotron]

I tell folks I was "born" three times. The OG got married and had children.
Each time, I got to see the world all over through new-to-me eyes.

Children added that they also allowed me the opportunity to see the "wonder" in the world once more.
I encourage it, have encouraged it, and totally see it as ok if someone doesn't want to. I somehow feel more complete.

None of my 3 siblings has had children.  Each has been married.  One brother, 8 times. License to marry means something different to him, I think. 

[thm_w]

Plenty of valid reasons not to want children. Genetic hereditary diseases, mental health, physical health (injury to mother or high chance of complications, short expected lifespan).
Saying that its rewarding to *you* I can get behind and appreciate, throwing out blanket statements that your feelings apply to everyone else is egocentric. It tells me you can't see through the eyes of others.

I've got to say that I do notice the "happiness" level between those that are married with kids, and those that aren't is quite stark. Not entirely universal, but usually very noticeable.
Getting off-topic though.

If you are over the age of 30, in a developed country, wealthy, and already happy, yes. Which would be most of the people you are interacting with. If those are not true, then having children can make you less happy.

Marriage for sure agreed, that is quite clear cut. I'd love to see NiHaoMike meet some "regular" women, but I didn't read that massive recent thread of his to see what happened.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5505668/
https://news.umich.edu/marriage-linked-to-better-health-happiness/

[EEVblog]

Plenty of valid reasons not to want children. Genetic hereditary diseases, mental health, physical health (injury to mother or high chance of complications, short expected lifespan).
Saying that its rewarding to *you* I can get behind and appreciate, throwing out blanket statements that your feelings apply to everyone else is egocentric. It tells me you can't see through the eyes of others.

I think you might need a vacation. I have a suggestion:

[SteveThackery]

Responsibility for the growth of another life is the ultimate reward in life.

For you, maybe. Not for me.

[Echo88]

8 marriages, do the brides know that your brother churns through more women than Leonardo DiCaprio and are okay with it?

[Analog Kid]

And it's not that I don't like kids; I do. Just don't want to be the one responsible for them.

Responsibility for the growth of another life is the ultimate reward in life.

I was going to just let this go by, but I just can't.
This is just like another exchange I had here, in the thread about moving the forum to Discourse (or was it Discord???).
I suggested a feature I'd like to see implemented on this forum.
Someone replied that they'd probably use it rarely or not at all. Therefore, by implication, I shouldn't want or need it either.

That's bullshit, of course. It doesn't work that way.
Just because you feel a certain way about something doesn't automatically mean that I should as well.

Sheesh; I can't believe I actually have to explain this shit ...

[thm_w]

I think you might need a vacation. I have a suggestion:

https://byronbay.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/byron-bay-sign-696.jpg

Agreed, good photo

[Cyclotron]

8 marriages, do the brides know that your brother churns through more women than Leonardo DiCaprio and are okay with it?

I once took photos and first names to a family reunion. I ran a game where you had to put the name with the picture, and if someone could do that and put them in the correct order, I'd pay 50 bucks.

Several others and I thought it was funny as hell.  My brother's current wife won't talk to me.  I guess I kinda know why, but I didn't marry 8 women, I'm just an asshole.

[Analog Kid]

@Cyclotron: You owe me for a new keyboard, as I was drinking when I read your post.

Just kidding, but it was funny. Sounds like something out of a Philip Roth novel.

[Halcyon]

8 marriages, do the brides know that your brother churns through more women than Leonardo DiCaprio and are okay with it?

I once took photos and first names to a family reunion. I ran a game where you had to put the name with the picture, and if someone could do that and put them in the correct order, I'd pay 50 bucks.

I have to admit, I've played a similar game while having drinks and dinner with my neighbours. They have 2 high school-aged kids, so it's very entertaining to flick through their yearbooks and judge other children based on nothing more than their name and photograph. Things like:
- This guy is in the AV club
- This guy will be in jail by the time he's 20
- This girl will probably have kids of her own in the next few years, etc... (The language gets more colourful, but I won't repeat it here.)

Dave's probably going to hate me, and I know I'm going to cop criticism and be called childish for it, but my defence is: I didn't start it, their mother did, and secondly it's fucking funny!

It's just an "offline" version of "people watching" and most of us do it. We make sure their kids aren't around, so it doesn't get back to the school yard.

[EEVblog]

Just because you feel a certain way about something doesn't automatically mean that I should as well.

If you take every opinion someone has and imply that they think you must have that opinion as well, well, you're just gonna waste a lot of your life arguing with people forever.

[Psi]

Just because you feel a certain way about something doesn't automatically mean that I should as well.

If you take every opinion someone has and imply that they think you must have that opinion as well, well, you're just gonna waste a lot of your life arguing with people forever.

100%

Also,
- If you dismiss everything someone says simply because you strongly disagree with a specific view they have,
- Or, you constantly argue against every point someone makes (regardless of if you agree with it or not) simply because you don't want to support someone who has a view you disagree with.

Then all you're doing is stalling any progress in the world, and often making things worse by rallying people to believe lies that were only invented to cancel people.  Everyone has good things to contribute no matter how much you might disagree with them in other specific areas, and everyone is wrong about something in a way they do not realize, everyone!