While I was registering on the forum, I promised myself I will try to keep it mostly technical and never personal. It seems I am breaking the promise.
“Each year approximately one million people die from suicide”; “every 40 seconds one death”
Think about that, while you are reading this thread. One registered user, who was on the forum while I was writing this post, will die from a suicide. 250 current forum members will or already did — that’s more than
Dunbar’s number. This is the scale of the phenomenon.
Don’t make guesses about what were his reasons, unless you have some reliable traces. It’s pointless. I doubt it was MDD, as he was active to the end. But that’s all. Do not assume, that people are having any kind of depressive mood if they are “sounding sad”. Neither make the opposite assumption: people in such condition do not need to look sad
(1). In fact people with dysthymia may seem extremely happy and successful. There are many reasons people commit suicide, some not even directly caused by mood-related issues; as a simple example someone may kill oneself to avoid dealing with problems in the near future.
Do not judge. People going through any type of depression are not of “weak character”. MDD is a natural reaction to stress, completely independent of person’s will, background or character. It’s pure chemistry over which you have no control. The same goes for dysthymia, which may be caused by biological factors. Do not think about depressive mood disorders as anything else than, let’s say, diabetes.
Since the causes are usually chemical/biological, it can be treated just like any other disease. If you fracture your bone, you do not walk around hoping it will fix itself. Neither one should make such an assumption with MDD.
(2) If you have hormonal problems, you take drugs — perhaps to the end of the life — to regain balance. And dysthymia is not different. In the worst case you may ask for a different therapy or refuse it — check your local regulations, but I never heard of a modern country in which someone would force pills down your throat.
If a cure is effective and safe is a different issue. As a person, who refused taking antidepressants, I have no right to suggest doing that. But this is not the only option! Depending on situation one may consider psychotherapy (which has no undesired side effects), a psychiatrist being a mediator between a patient and other doctors (to remove underlying conditions), minor changes in lifestyle or something as simple as… a lamp. Do not avoid consulting a psychiatrist just because you imagine you will leave with a box of Prozac. On the other hand, you must be assertive — there is no way around asking the doctor about alternatives.
And psychiatrists are yet another problem. Not only them, but also people trying to “help”. More often than not both groups are trying to “fix” a person instead of caring for the actual needs. It’s often about “making it
normal again”, where “normal” means “like an average person”. And making it quick. I guess this is the major reason people avoid getting help. If any form of lowered mood is considered
wrong and the affected person is expecting to face extreme, potentially harmful and ineffective measures, I do not blame them for not seeking professional care. If you see a depressed person and want to help them, first get your motivation right. And respect that person — they still want some autonomy. Otherwise the outcome may be opposite to what you expect. An evening spent with someone, who is willing to meet with you, may be more important than anything medicine has to offer to them.
If you wish to commit a suicide: consider not doing that. The problem is that most attempts are ending in a failure. Even those, which seem “certain”: throwing yourself under a train, a truck, jumping from a bridge, hanging etc. Worse than that: if you survive, you have considerable chances of ending as a disabled person. Not the smartest idea.
Note: I am not a professional psychiatrist. The above is based on my own experiences and those of my friends and acquaintances.
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(1) Except for a developed MDD, but then visible sadness is not the only symptom.
(2) Right, ribs are the exception. So are some cases of MDD. But a rib should be seen by a specialist, and similar check may be a good idea with the latter.
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