I wonder if she should have banded together with some other makers to buy a shared shop where real estate is cheap, as Laura Kampf did.
She refuses to move outside of the area she's in.
In that case the situation is likely to repeat. What's that saying, something about insanity being trying the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome?
She refuses to move outside of the area she's in.
And she fully and openly explained why she prefers to stay near friends in a community that embraces her.
I don't care why. Sometimes your biggest problem is in the mirror, like it or not. Her friends should be pushing her to do what she NEEDS to do, not what she wants to do.
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In that case the situation is likely to repeat. What's that saying, something about insanity being trying the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome?
I wouldn't put it that way but there is some truth in it. When choosing an older (cheap) building in an upcoming neighbourhood the chances are high the building will be renovated / demolished some time soon. So the trick is to rent something which has been built/renovated recently. That is going to be more expensive; it could be Fran's wishes don't match her income so she may have to make a tough choice.
I believe Fran has a long lease, like 6 years or something, maybe even with options to extend.
I don't know what building she is in, I assume it's a residential apartment type block, but it's likely a new owner won't be looking to buy and just sit on it for 6+ years and eek out the rent.
How common is property "flipping" in Philly?
Flipping property is common all over the US and the lease could have easily had provisions for such an event, many do.
In any case, if the new owner wishes her out, they can make her life miserable, fighting it will just prolong the misery.
And she fully and openly explained why she prefers to stay near friends in a community that embraces her.
Are her friends also interested in better housing? Maybe a shared shop building would be the best solution, whether mostly common areas or partitioned.
I don't care why. Sometimes your biggest problem is in the mirror, like it or not. Her friends should be pushing her to do what she NEEDS to do, not what she wants to do.
It‘s not about her friends’ needs, it’s about Fran’s own needs. And they matter, a lot. Trans women are being murdered left and right in USA right now. Choosing a place that is accepting is not a matter of convenience. It’s about personal safety. It’s about specialized healthcare. It’s about having (or being able to acquire) a support network. These are all things that
any rational person would take heavily into consideration when choosing a place to live. As a gay man, I can assure you that they’re all things I think about a LOT when choosing where to live.
Probably but such a choice should also include getting a job or keep trying to be self-employed. In the end it all boils down to having enough money to live the way you want. You have to find the lesser of all evils (a compromise).
I don't care why. Sometimes your biggest problem is in the mirror, like it or not. Her friends should be pushing her to do what she NEEDS to do, not what she wants to do.
It‘s not about her friends’ needs, it’s about Fran’s own needs. And they matter, a lot. Trans women are being murdered left and right in USA right now. Choosing a place that is accepting is not a matter of convenience. It’s about personal safety. It’s about specialized healthcare. It’s about having (or being able to acquire) a support network. These are all things that any rational person would take heavily into consideration when choosing a place to live. As a gay man, I can assure you that they’re all things I think about a LOT when choosing where to live.
Trans people are not being murdered left and right, not in America. Considering how few there are there probably wouldn't be any left if they were. I don't care about Fran's friends either and I wasn't talking about their needs. I have a trans family member and more gay friends than I can count and talking honestly is always the best course of action. Not scaring people, not making them think they're going to be murdered but pushing them to have the best life they can even if you never get to see them again. This could be a really good example of WHY Fran should leave the area she's in if her friends are making her afraid to leave.
Trans people are not being murdered left and right, not in America. Considering how few there are there probably wouldn't be any left if they were.
Yes, they are:
https://www.hrc.org/resources/violence-against-the-transgender-community-in-2019Given the relatively small number of trans people, that’s a shockingly high number, and that murder rate has been ongoing for a few years now, after taking a sharp upward turn right around 2016.
I don't care about Fran's friends either and I wasn't talking about their needs. I have a trans family member and more gay friends than I can count and talking honestly is always the best course of action. Not scaring people, not making them think they're going to be murdered but pushing them to have the best life they can even if you never get to see them again. This could be a really good example of WHY Fran should leave the area she's in if her friends are making her afraid to leave.
Where did you get the idea that her friends are telling her to be afraid to leave? She never said that. AFAIK we haven’t been told anything that her friends might have said.
All we know about this (and I’m not even sure
this is from the horse’s mouth, as I believe it’s more what we have speculated in this thread) is that she has a support network in Philly that she doesn’t want to leave, and IMHO that is a perfectly valid reason to choose to stay.
Trans people are not being murdered left and right, not in America. Considering how few there are there probably wouldn't be any left if they were.
Yes, they are: https://www.hrc.org/resources/violence-against-the-transgender-community-in-2019
Given the relatively small number of trans people, that’s a shockingly high number, and that murder rate has been ongoing for a few years now, after taking a sharp upward turn right around 2016.
getting totally off topics but , ...
from google:
"According to the Williams Institute, in 2016, approximately 0.6 percent of adults in the United States identified as transgender."
from the article you linked:
"In 2018, advocates tracked at least 26 deaths of transgender people in the U.S. due to fatal violence"
26*100/0.6 = 4333
from FBI:
"In 2017, the estimated number of murders in the nation was 17,284"
Trans people are not being murdered left and right, not in America. Considering how few there are there probably wouldn't be any left if they were.
Yes, they are: https://www.hrc.org/resources/violence-against-the-transgender-community-in-2019
Given the relatively small number of trans people, that’s a shockingly high number, and that murder rate has been ongoing for a few years now, after taking a sharp upward turn right around 2016.
I don't care about Fran's friends either and I wasn't talking about their needs. I have a trans family member and more gay friends than I can count and talking honestly is always the best course of action. Not scaring people, not making them think they're going to be murdered but pushing them to have the best life they can even if you never get to see them again. This could be a really good example of WHY Fran should leave the area she's in if her friends are making her afraid to leave.
Where did you get the idea that her friends are telling her to be afraid to leave? She never said that. AFAIK we haven’t been told anything that her friends might have said.
All we know about this (and I’m not even sure this is from the horse’s mouth, as I believe it’s more what we have speculated in this thread) is that she has a support network in Philly that she doesn’t want to leave, and IMHO that is a perfectly valid reason to choose to stay.
I assume her friends would be like you telling her trans people are being murdered all the time so she can't go anywhere. Feeding her fears and making her stay put. A support network can change, and maybe hers should.
Notice how most of the transgender deaths have been Black people? This has been a running trend for YEARS. Murder rates in black populations are high so the fact that they're transgender doesn't mean people are murdering transgenders at any specific rate, it's more likely being black and in a black community was a bigger part of it. No, it's also not racism. People generally murder people like themselves. The uptick(a couple more a year) is most likely attributable to the number of people identifying as transgender.
Given the relatively small number of trans people, that’s a shockingly high number, and that murder rate has been ongoing for a few years now, after taking a sharp upward turn right around 2016.
It says 26 people in a whole year. I don't know how many trans people there are in the USA but given there are two of them just in my own little circle of friends they can't be *that* rare.
Is it a problem? Sure, it would be great if 0 people were being murdered, but I still wouldn't say it's "happening left and right". I think in most large cities a trans person is more likely to be killed by a drunk/texting driver or be the victim of a random crime than to be targeting specifically for being trans.
26*100/0.6 = 4333
And what number is 4333 supposed to be? You didn't say.
I'll give you a hint. Population of the USA is about 330 million. Some of those are children, so call it 250 million adults. 0.6% may be a small percentage, but it's still a lot of people.
26*100/0.6 = 4333
And what number is 4333 supposed to be? You didn't say.
I'll give you a hint. Population of the USA is about 330 million. Some of those are children, so call it 250 million adults. 0.6% may be a small percentage, but it's still a lot of people.
26 out of 0.6%, extrapolate to 100% you would expect 4333, the actual number is ~17000 iow the rate is less than 1/4 of the average for the population as a whole
26*100/0.6 = 4333
And what number is 4333 supposed to be? You didn't say.
This was a test on how to interpret statistics and you failed
Trans people are not being murdered left and right, not in America. Considering how few there are there probably wouldn't be any left if they were.
Yes, they are: https://www.hrc.org/resources/violence-against-the-transgender-community-in-2019
Given the relatively small number of trans people, that’s a shockingly high number, and that murder rate has been ongoing for a few years now, after taking a sharp upward turn right around 2016.
Nope, sorry.
0.6% population is trans best figure I can find (I doubt it's that high, but it's an often quoted number), so that's 1.96M people US wide.
26 trans deaths US wide, or 0.0013%, assuming all are deaths because they were killed just for being trans (they aren't, but worse case).
Homocides in Philly alone were 351 for 2018, so right there you are vastly more likely to get killed randomly on the streets of Philly than killed for being trans.
You can't live your life in fear.
As for moving somewhere else, I've tried my best to convince Fran to do that but she keeps assuring me it's not possible. I still don't believe it's not easily possible, but what do I know. I tried.
She grew up in a time when misogyny was even more of a problem than it is now, maybe she's under the false impression that the area she's living in is less misogynistic than the places she lived in previously?
Well you can lead a horse to water...
Eventually it sometimes becomes clear that a person is just going to keep making poor life choices and it gets harder to be sympathetic.
Could part of the problem is that it's mostly guys giving the advice? Problem is that there aren't many well known women who have recently dealt with similar situations regarding housing - Laura Kampf and Naomi Wu are the only ones I can think of. But they both figured out that cheap real estate is the way to go to have the room to work and keep expenses down.
I don't see how this is a gender issue, it's a common problem that anyone who is renting will need to figure out. If you live in an inexpensive older building in an area that is gentrifying there is a very good chance you'll soon be looking for a new place to live.