What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?

[Tony_G]

Who's up for a bit of poking fun at auctions?

My personal ones are:

"Pulled from a working environment"
"Powers on, unable to test further" (double value for a test equipment seller)
"Used but sold-as-is" (what part of 'parts not working' don't you understand)
"Used, in good condition" (with a failure code shown in the photo)

What else have you seen?

Personally I vote for the "Pulled from a ..." as the all-time most worthless phrase.

TonyG

[station240]

"May be good source for parts"
Because trying to trick you into not thinking "May be bad source for parts", and give them an out if it's been fried by a voltage surge.

"Was working before being put into storage"
Implies it isn't working after being dig out.

[ModemHead]

Not exactly a phrase, but I find it annoying when something with a display screen is listed as "works perfectly" but none of the photos even show it powered on.

[grumpydoc]

My favourite peeve - blurry photos, especially when all you get is just just one blurry photo.

[tszaboo]

Not showing the back of the instrument, where there could be a lot of options, or you could decide if it is a 110V or 230V equipment.
Or worse, showing the back, and all the options have been stripped out, leaving gaping holes.

[Ice-Tea]

"Pulled from a working environment"
"Powers on, unable to test further" (double value for a test equipment seller)
"Used but sold-as-is" (what part of 'parts not working' don't you understand)

Actually, from an honnest vendor all of this *is* quite helpfull. And they all denote a meaningfully different state of the equipement.

"Used, in good condition" (with a failure code shown in the photo)

Yeah, this one: not so much.

[rrinker]

"Vintage"

or

"rare" when it's one of a million or common as dirt.

[precaud]

"Pulled from a working environment" has got to be the most worthless statement and tacit admission of ignorance about what they're selling. The environment may have been working, but this piece of gear...

[Stray Electron]

  My least favorite is "Refurbished".  W T F does that mean?  Most of the time the item is still caked with dust and dirt and the seller is clueless about what it does but they still claim it was "refurbished".  Show me a recent calibration certificate from a nationally known Cal lab or GTFO!

[ChrisLX200]

"Vintage"

or

"rare" when it's one of a million or common as dirt.

Yep: 'Rare' - so you mean spares are impossible to get hold of then? Guess I won't bother...

[Ice-Tea]

My least favorite is "Refurbished".  W T F does that mean?

Inserted new CR2032.

[grumpydoc]

My least favorite is "Refurbished".  W T F does that mean?

Inserted new CR2032.

Surely, took old CR2032 out, polished contacts a bit and put it back.

Also, if the refurbisher is especially skilled, "wiped outside of item with wet cloth".

[Brumby]

If they were "especially skilled" they would use a damp cloth - not a wet one.

[Muttley Snickers]

I might just plonk this thing here for now.   

Vintage Audio Test Bench Equipment: Probably an Oscilloscope.

[Brumby]

As a side note - Do you see the Ad for Siglent on the right...?  I've seen this pop up myself.

I find it rather curious that in this day and age of digital TV they use an analogue colour video signal.

[grumpydoc]

If they were "especially skilled" they would use a damp cloth - not a wet one.

[SeanB]

"Complete" showing a unit missing the accessories, like power cords, probe sets or anything that would normally plug into it and which is essential for it to work. Think of things that have external probes or sensors but which do not come with them. Those are probably in a pile of "Miscellaneous" cables on the same auction, or were chucked into the bin.

[vk3yedotcom]

A few more:

Directly imported = no local warranty
Genuine accessory = overpriced
Immaculate = not many visible marks from last drop
Newly reconditioned = rust sanded off
No timewasters = you’re on your own if it doesn’t work
Plastic still over display = didn’t you know that a piece cut from clear book covering lifts resale value by $100? 
Restoration project = I've given up
Selling on behalf of ...  = Not my responsibility if it doesn't work.
Serviced by authorised agent = just back from them for the umpteenth time
Worked when last switched on = Because it's unwise to turn on again after the smoke's escaped.

[StillTrying]

100% Brand New and High Quality.

Genuine reason for sale. - Doesn't work.

[Gregg]

Auctions with “Buyer’s premium applies” or some such crap

More of a craigslist than fleabay phenomenon:
“Brand new” in the header but “only used once (or more)” in the description after clicking on the item.
“I paid $99 plus tax” plus “$100 firm” even though it is used and it can be found online for $80 including shipping from an authorized seller with a warranty.

[oPossum]

"easy fix"

Why don't they just fix it?

[bitseeker]

These are great. I've seen almost all of them.

Not text, but those photos that are either too dark to be useful, have cords obscuring defects, or have strategically placed shadows to make tired VFDs look OK.

Another good one is boilerplate/template text that is either irrelevant to the item or contradicts other text in the listing. For example, "no power cord included" on a power supply with a hard-wired power cord.

But the grand prize still goes to "pulled from a working environment." Thanks, I'm so glad to know that the environment was working fine. So, what about this item you're hustling? Yeah, didn't think so.

Actually, "pulled from a working environment" could be a lie if the gear came from a company that went bust.

[Cyberdragon]

Another good one is boilerplate/template text that is either irrelevant to the item or contradicts other text in the listing. For example, "no power cord included" on a power supply with a hard-wired power cord.

They probably cut it off either because they're stupid, or they needed it to fix their coffee machine.

[CatalinaWOW]

So the question is?  Would you be more likely to buy one of those pieces of gear if none of those phrases were included.  Just a picture.

Or to put more of a point to it.  Given two otherwise identical items, where one stated that it was bought on a palette from a salvage dealer and the other was purchased excess from an operating company would either have a preference?  How about found in a dumpster.  Would you rather have that information, or not.

These are all low information content comments, but some actually have some value.  Also a little cognitive dissonance from one current thread which faults vendors who ruin equipment by attempting to test it beyond their knowledge and this thread faulting vendors who admit they are clueless and don't test it.  Of course no matter what the phrasing it can be used by a dishonest seller or one with different standards to hide defects.  How about recently calibrated and tested.  Which might mean since the octogenarian owner retired 30 years ago.

[bitseeker]

Another good one is boilerplate/template text that is either irrelevant to the item or contradicts other text in the listing. For example, "no power cord included" on a power supply with a hard-wired power cord.

They probably cut it off either because they're stupid, or they needed it to fix their coffee machine.

It was still there in the photos.