Author Topic: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?  (Read 17586 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Tony_GTopic starter

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 912
  • Country: us
  • Checkout my old test gear channel (link in sig)
    • TGSoapbox
What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« on: February 22, 2018, 05:35:12 am »
Who's up for a bit of poking fun at auctions?

My personal ones are:

"Pulled from a working environment"
"Powers on, unable to test further" (double value for a test equipment seller)
"Used but sold-as-is" (what part of 'parts not working' don't you understand)
"Used, in good condition" (with a failure code shown in the photo)

What else have you seen?

Personally I vote for the "Pulled from a ..." as the all-time most worthless phrase.

TonyG

Offline station240

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 967
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2018, 06:41:23 am »
"May be good source for parts"
Because trying to trick you into not thinking "May be bad source for parts", and give them an out if it's been fried by a voltage surge.

"Was working before being put into storage"
Implies it isn't working after being dig out.
 

Offline ModemHead

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 731
  • Country: us
  • No user-serviceable parts inside.
    • Mr. ModemHead
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2018, 03:37:47 pm »
Not exactly a phrase, but I find it annoying when something with a display screen is listed as "works perfectly" but none of the photos even show it powered on.
 
The following users thanked this post: Crazy_Engineer

Offline grumpydoc

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2905
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #3 on: February 22, 2018, 04:31:53 pm »
My favourite peeve - blurry photos, especially when all you get is just just one blurry photo.
 

Offline tszaboo

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 7392
  • Country: nl
  • Current job: ATEX product design
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2018, 04:46:54 pm »
Not showing the back of the instrument, where there could be a lot of options, or you could decide if it is a 110V or 230V equipment.
Or worse, showing the back, and all the options have been stripped out, leaving gaping holes.
 

Offline Ice-Tea

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3070
  • Country: be
    • Freelance Hardware Engineer
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2018, 05:21:49 pm »
"Pulled from a working environment"
"Powers on, unable to test further" (double value for a test equipment seller)
"Used but sold-as-is" (what part of 'parts not working' don't you understand)
Actually, from an honnest vendor all of this *is* quite helpfull. And they all denote a meaningfully different state of the equipement.
Quote
"Used, in good condition" (with a failure code shown in the photo)
Yeah, this one: not so much.

Offline rrinker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2046
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2018, 05:34:21 pm »
"Vintage"

or

"rare" when it's one of a million or common as dirt.

 
The following users thanked this post: Jaymo

Offline precaud

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 734
  • Country: us
    • LinearZ
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2018, 05:50:18 pm »
"Pulled from a working environment" has got to be the most worthless statement and tacit admission of ignorance about what they're selling. The environment may have been working, but this piece of gear...
 

Offline Stray Electron

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2050
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #8 on: February 22, 2018, 07:11:34 pm »
  My least favorite is "Refurbished".  W T F does that mean?  Most of the time the item is still caked with dust and dirt and the seller is clueless about what it does but they still claim it was "refurbished".  Show me a recent calibration certificate from a nationally known Cal lab or GTFO!
 
The following users thanked this post: Jaymo

Offline ChrisLX200

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 458
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2018, 07:29:46 pm »
"Vintage"

or

"rare" when it's one of a million or common as dirt.

Yep: 'Rare' - so you mean spares are impossible to get hold of then? Guess I won't bother...
 
The following users thanked this post: Jaymo

Offline Ice-Tea

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3070
  • Country: be
    • Freelance Hardware Engineer
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2018, 10:05:31 pm »
My least favorite is "Refurbished".  W T F does that mean?

Inserted new CR2032.
 
The following users thanked this post: Jaymo

Offline grumpydoc

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2905
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2018, 07:34:30 am »
My least favorite is "Refurbished".  W T F does that mean?

Inserted new CR2032.
Surely, took old CR2032 out, polished contacts a bit and put it back.

Also, if the refurbisher is especially skilled, "wiped outside of item with wet cloth".
 
The following users thanked this post: gnavigator1007

Offline Brumby

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 12298
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2018, 03:24:05 am »
If they were "especially skilled" they would use a damp cloth - not a wet one.
 

Offline Muttley Snickers

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 2341
  • Country: au
  • Cursed: 679 times
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2018, 03:43:20 am »
I might just plonk this thing here for now.   :o ::)

Vintage Audio Test Bench Equipment: Probably an Oscilloscope.


 

Offline Brumby

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 12298
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #14 on: February 25, 2018, 03:50:18 am »
As a side note - Do you see the Ad for Siglent on the right...?  I've seen this pop up myself.

I find it rather curious that in this day and age of digital TV they use an analogue colour video signal.
 

Offline grumpydoc

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2905
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2018, 12:33:45 pm »
If they were "especially skilled" they would use a damp cloth - not a wet one.
:)
 

Offline SeanB

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 16284
  • Country: za
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2018, 07:50:35 pm »
"Complete" showing a unit missing the accessories, like power cords, probe sets or anything that would normally plug into it and which is essential for it to work. Think of things that have external probes or sensors but which do not come with them. Those are probably in a pile of "Miscellaneous" cables on the same auction, or were chucked into the bin.
 

Offline vk3yedotcom

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 612
  • Country: au
    • vk3ye dot com (radio articles and projects)
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2018, 08:06:34 pm »
A few more:

Directly imported = no local warranty
Genuine accessory = overpriced
Immaculate = not many visible marks from last drop
Newly reconditioned = rust sanded off
No timewasters = you’re on your own if it doesn’t work
Plastic still over display = didn’t you know that a piece cut from clear book covering lifts resale value by $100? 
Restoration project = I've given up
Selling on behalf of ...  = Not my responsibility if it doesn't work.
Serviced by authorised agent = just back from them for the umpteenth time
Worked when last switched on = Because it's unwise to turn on again after the smoke's escaped.
NEW! Ham Radio Get Started: Your success in amateur radio. One of 8 ebooks available on amateur radio topics. Details at  https://books.vk3ye.com
 
The following users thanked this post: SeanB, BrianHG

Offline StillTrying

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2850
  • Country: se
  • Country: Broken Britain
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2018, 08:17:14 pm »
100% Brand New and High Quality.

Genuine reason for sale. - Doesn't work.
.  That took much longer than I thought it would.
 

Offline Gregg

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1128
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #19 on: February 27, 2018, 12:34:43 am »
Auctions with “Buyer’s premium applies” or some such crap

More of a craigslist than fleabay phenomenon:
“Brand new” in the header but “only used once (or more)” in the description after clicking on the item.
“I paid $99 plus tax” plus “$100 firm” even though it is used and it can be found online for $80 including shipping from an authorized seller with a warranty.
 

Online oPossum

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1417
  • Country: us
  • Very dangerous - may attack at any time
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #20 on: February 27, 2018, 12:47:18 am »
"easy fix"

Why don't they just fix it?
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2018, 01:20:03 am »
These are great. I've seen almost all of them. |O

Not text, but those photos that are either too dark to be useful, have cords obscuring defects, or have strategically placed shadows to make tired VFDs look OK.

Another good one is boilerplate/template text that is either irrelevant to the item or contradicts other text in the listing. For example, "no power cord included" on a power supply with a hard-wired power cord.

But the grand prize still goes to "pulled from a working environment." Thanks, I'm so glad to know that the environment was working fine. So, what about this item you're hustling? Yeah, didn't think so.

Actually, "pulled from a working environment" could be a lie if the gear came from a company that went bust.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2018, 01:22:24 am by bitseeker »
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline Cyberdragon

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2676
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2018, 03:54:30 am »
Another good one is boilerplate/template text that is either irrelevant to the item or contradicts other text in the listing. For example, "no power cord included" on a power supply with a hard-wired power cord.

They probably cut it off either because they're stupid, or they needed it to fix their coffee machine. :P
*BZZZZZZAAAAAP*
Voltamort strikes again!
Explodingus - someone who frequently causes accidental explosions
 

Offline CatalinaWOW

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 5239
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2018, 04:34:05 am »
So the question is?  Would you be more likely to buy one of those pieces of gear if none of those phrases were included.  Just a picture.

Or to put more of a point to it.  Given two otherwise identical items, where one stated that it was bought on a palette from a salvage dealer and the other was purchased excess from an operating company would either have a preference?  How about found in a dumpster.  Would you rather have that information, or not.

These are all low information content comments, but some actually have some value.  Also a little cognitive dissonance from one current thread which faults vendors who ruin equipment by attempting to test it beyond their knowledge and this thread faulting vendors who admit they are clueless and don't test it.  Of course no matter what the phrasing it can be used by a dishonest seller or one with different standards to hide defects.  How about recently calibrated and tested.  Which might mean since the octogenarian owner retired 30 years ago.
 
The following users thanked this post: rsjsouza

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2018, 05:14:43 am »
Another good one is boilerplate/template text that is either irrelevant to the item or contradicts other text in the listing. For example, "no power cord included" on a power supply with a hard-wired power cord.

They probably cut it off either because they're stupid, or they needed it to fix their coffee machine. :P

It was still there in the photos. ;D
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #25 on: February 27, 2018, 05:19:01 am »
Of course no matter what the phrasing it can be used by a dishonest seller or one with different standards to hide defects.

Yeah, that and the other extreme where a seller is just doing copy+paste without a second thought. Both are irritating.

On a more positive note, I do very much appreciate those rare listings where someone either actually knows what he or she is talking about or hasn't a clue yet doesn't try to cover it up with these vacuous phrases.
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Online tggzzz

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 19517
  • Country: gb
  • Numbers, not adjectives
    • Having fun doing more, with less
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2018, 09:21:54 am »
On ebay, marked as "used", but the text contains "Guaranteed Working - 5 days to complete full testing process". Um, if you know it is used then what further testing is required, and why does it take 5 days?

Example: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Tektronix-1502C-Time-Domain-Reflectometer/401141897985
There are lies, damned lies, statistics - and ADC/DAC specs.
Glider pilot's aphorism: "there is no substitute for span". Retort: "There is a substitute: skill+imagination. But you can buy span".
Having fun doing more, with less
 

Offline Ice-Tea

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3070
  • Country: be
    • Freelance Hardware Engineer
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #27 on: February 27, 2018, 09:48:56 am »
"Guaranteed Working - 5 days to complete full testing process".

Translation: we have a warehouse full of stuff. If it turns on, we'll toss it on eBay but won't spend additional time on something we may never sell. If we sell it, we'll test it fully and say sorry and refund you if an issue turns up.
 
The following users thanked this post: Electro Detective

Offline grumpydoc

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2905
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #28 on: February 27, 2018, 09:56:39 am »
"Guaranteed Working - 5 days to complete full testing process".

Translation: we have a warehouse full of stuff. If it turns on, we'll toss it on eBay but won't spend additional time on something we may never sell. If we sell it, we'll test it fully and say sorry and refund you if an issue turns up.
Spot on.
 

Offline Electro Detective

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2715
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #29 on: March 02, 2018, 10:25:12 pm »
"Guaranteed Working - 5 days to complete full testing process".

Translation: we have a warehouse full of stuff. If it turns on, we'll toss it on eBay but won't spend additional time on something we may never sell.

If we sell it, we'll test it fully and say sorry and refund you if an issue turns up.

 :-+  So true, Ebay is crawling with 'cheap rent warehouse' sellers like this

It's an obvious 'no risk' SNEAKY UNDERHANDED ploy to keep their Positive Feedback levels high

and wastes the buyers time doing all the work testing and returning nature strip and dumpster grade gear,
or pallets of corporate write-offs that may or may not be sort of working

**** those sellers, usually they operate with different seller names as well too for better Ebay coverage/monopoly or in case one 'seller' goes bust, 
their 'style' is easy to spot and I avoid them like a plague  :scared: 

Sometimes I'm not sure what sux more, their blurry photo auction items, useless picture of a pallet  :-//

...or the sub-neanderthal grammar flavored useless email replies   


Question: Hi, does this item work, or sold 'as is' ?

Reply: All Ebay stock iss coms wit money back garantree

 :palm:

« Last Edit: March 02, 2018, 10:34:36 pm by Electro Detective »
 

Offline Quarlo Klobrigney

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 967
  • Country: pt
  • This Space For Rent
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #30 on: March 03, 2018, 12:27:17 am »
Vintage, Art Deco, 1970's, Works Great, Needs New Cord, All Bulbs Light, All Sales Final :palm:

Edit: I forgot to add that it (insert item) was designed by Art Deco himself! :-DD
And: No reserve! "Auction ended because of an error in the item or listing and has been removed"
« Last Edit: March 07, 2018, 02:17:37 am by Quarlo Klobrigney »
Voltage does not flow, nor does voltage go.
 

Offline Electro Detective

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2715
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #31 on: March 03, 2018, 12:50:51 am »
Electronics parts from recent diseased estate auction

Bidding starts at 99 cents, NO RESERVE, no pick ups,

happy bidding and good luck

 ::)

 

Offline jasonbrent

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 176
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #32 on: March 03, 2018, 03:22:26 am »
"steampunk".

Makes me cringe.
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #33 on: March 03, 2018, 05:12:29 am »
Ah, yes. Steampunk.

Also, "Nixie era." Usually appears on devices or even just displays that use LED or VFD technology. However, pretty much any object made from the 50's to the 90's would qualify. :palm:
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline ikrase

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 151
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #34 on: March 05, 2018, 06:38:38 am »
It isn't usually relevant to electronics, but an annoying thing is when sellers barf up a whole bunch of marginally related or actually unrelated keywords in the item title and description.

It's particularly egregious in the vintage, reproduction, and historical clothing world.
 

Offline Terry01

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 907
  • Country: scotland
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #35 on: March 05, 2018, 10:35:40 am »
That's the joys of Ebay! You could be buying from someone who really knows how to get an item in top shape before selling it and the seller is very honest and fair, or.....you get some crook who knows nothing but how to lie about the item and tell you it's great and rob you for every penny they can get. Then you have everything in between....

You just have to use the best defence you can against the crooks......your head! Sometimes though even that's not enough. Sad for the honest sellers who get tarred with the same stick through no fault of their own. It's called "The Big Bad World" of Ebay!  :wtf:
Sparks and Smoke means i'm nearly there!
 

Offline Electro Detective

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2715
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #36 on: March 10, 2018, 01:03:48 am »
If the seller has excellent Ebay Feedback and a good communicator, then it becomes a 50/50 coin toss on the true state of the item, especially if the seller is unaware either way.

If the seller is not too far away and offers a local pickup option, and a demo or test before you fork over the cash, it's as good as it gets, never a problem   :-+

and you can always make an offer to the seller if the item has issues, if you're prepared to sort it out


The only Ebay non-joy for me as a buyer is those 'PAYPAL ONLY' wankers that really p*** me off   :rant:   they obviously have not heard of direct bank debit or C A S H   :palm:
and most are predictably arrogant and or illiterate twats anyway, with little or no knowledge of what they are selling,

they can keep their item and paypal 'frequent d!ckhead points' or whatever it is they 'earn' to inconvenience genuine spenders     :--

« Last Edit: March 10, 2018, 01:09:05 am by Electro Detective »
 

Offline steve30

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 733
  • Country: england
    • Stephen Coates' Homepage
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #37 on: March 10, 2018, 11:58:02 am »
WOW L@@K RARE!

Though to be honest, you don't see L@@K much these days.
 

Offline mdijkens

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 146
  • Country: nl
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #38 on: March 10, 2018, 02:49:01 pm »
Actually there might be interesting deals between those offers...

If you have to sell all the hobby gear of your dad/husband who just passed away and you know nothing about the stuff..
I've seen several ads on a local website here in NL of people selling stuff they don't even know what it is but the only thing they want/need is to get rid of it asap
 
The following users thanked this post: CatalinaWOW, Electro Detective

Offline JohnMc

  • Contributor
  • Posts: 32
  • Country: ca
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #39 on: March 11, 2018, 10:44:20 am »
"Complete" showing a unit missing the accessories, like power cords, probe sets or anything that would normally plug into it and which is essential for it to work. Think of things that have external probes or sensors but which do not come with them. Those are probably in a pile of "Miscellaneous" cables on the same auction, or were chucked into the bin.
One better how about the reverse. I remember seeing a listing for a inside micrometer. Long wanky ad lots of buzz words. "Only missing one piece". Ya the actual micrometer. :palm: 
 
The following users thanked this post: SeanB

Offline Tony_GTopic starter

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 912
  • Country: us
  • Checkout my old test gear channel (link in sig)
    • TGSoapbox
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #40 on: March 12, 2018, 06:19:57 am »
If you have to sell all the hobby gear of your dad/husband who just passed away and you know nothing about the stuff..

How'd the old joke go again???

Quote
My greatest fear is that when I die, my wife will sell my gear for what I told her I paid for it

My Dad is putting stickers on his gear now just in case it needs to be sold before I can get back home to sort out.

TonyG

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #41 on: March 12, 2018, 05:52:11 pm »
That's a good one. I guess I should start attaching price tags to all my gear so it's ready to go when I do.
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Online tggzzz

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 19517
  • Country: gb
  • Numbers, not adjectives
    • Having fun doing more, with less
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #42 on: March 12, 2018, 07:04:53 pm »
That's a good one. I guess I should start attaching price tags to all my gear so it's ready to go when I do.

My mother started that a decade ago, on antiques, not test equipment :) Many labels have fallen off!
There are lies, damned lies, statistics - and ADC/DAC specs.
Glider pilot's aphorism: "there is no substitute for span". Retort: "There is a substitute: skill+imagination. But you can buy span".
Having fun doing more, with less
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #43 on: March 12, 2018, 08:30:51 pm »
Talk about Murphy's Law — you go through the trouble to be prepared and when the time comes, the tags have all fallen off.
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline Ice-Tea

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3070
  • Country: be
    • Freelance Hardware Engineer
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #44 on: March 12, 2018, 09:30:36 pm »
That's a good one. I guess I should start attaching price tags to all my gear so it's ready to go when I do.

Let me help you with that. The label should read:

"Gelieve op te sturen naar Ice-Tea omdat het een geweldige kerel is. Stof 'm ook even af zodat hij dat alvast niet hoeft te doen"

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #45 on: March 12, 2018, 10:22:21 pm »
I kind of guessed what the first part was. Then, ran it through the translator to get the full effect. :-DD
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline jmelson

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2766
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #46 on: March 14, 2018, 08:56:12 pm »
On ebay, marked as "used", but the text contains "Guaranteed Working - 5 days to complete full testing process". Um, if you know it is used then what further testing is required, and why does it take 5 days?
When you buy it, they pull the top one off the pile and plug it in.  If it explodes in flames, toss it aside and take the next.  When they find one that doesn't explode, they ship it to you.  No way to know in advance how long that could take to find the good one.

Jon
 

Online tggzzz

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 19517
  • Country: gb
  • Numbers, not adjectives
    • Having fun doing more, with less
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #47 on: March 14, 2018, 10:01:21 pm »
On ebay, marked as "used", but the text contains "Guaranteed Working - 5 days to complete full testing process". Um, if you know it is used then what further testing is required, and why does it take 5 days?
When you buy it, they pull the top one off the pile and plug it in.  If it explodes in flames, toss it aside and take the next.  When they find one that doesn't explode, they ship it to you.  No way to know in advance how long that could take to find the good one.

Jon

Possibly, but they have that notation on some relatively rare 1970s items - and I doubt they have a large stock of them.
There are lies, damned lies, statistics - and ADC/DAC specs.
Glider pilot's aphorism: "there is no substitute for span". Retort: "There is a substitute: skill+imagination. But you can buy span".
Having fun doing more, with less
 

Offline Kjelt

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 6460
  • Country: nl
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #48 on: March 14, 2018, 10:13:49 pm »
Most worthless sentence IMO often used on a dutch auction site:

Quote
This needs no explanation, an expert knows what it is worth.

Yeah an expert knows it is a POS worth nothing  :)
 

Offline Po6ept

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 89
  • Country: 00
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #49 on: March 15, 2018, 02:50:03 pm »
"Surplus to my needs".

 

Offline imidis

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 426
  • Country: ca
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #50 on: March 15, 2018, 02:55:35 pm »
This isn't from an auction site, but... "Like new, mint condition, excellent shape, does not turn on" For a galaxy s6 $150  :palm:
Gone for good
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #51 on: March 15, 2018, 05:44:37 pm »
Prediction for the next generation of useless auction phrase:

"AI-based, like new, rare, IoT, pulled from working environment, 100% functional prior to being stored, selling as-is due to lack of knowledge or resources. Free shipping!"
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline OE2WHP

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 94
  • Country: at
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #52 on: March 15, 2018, 05:56:20 pm »
My favorites:

- Turns on but can't test it because I have no clue what it is...
- Oscilloscopes where the text says "trace still very sharp" but the picture is blurry as hell...go figure...
- Selling for a deceased ham. I'm sure it was working when he used it last time..... oh really? When was that? 30 years ago?
 

Offline Crazy_Engineer

  • Contributor
  • Posts: 13
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #53 on: March 24, 2018, 06:28:30 pm »
My favorites:

- Turns on but can't test it because I have no clue what it is...

Those are annoying, but sometimes they honestly don know what they are doing.  I managed to get a working HP power supply for 20 bucks because the seller didn't know the difference between the negative terminal and earth ground.  He had plugged a 12V light bulb into + and earth ground and was wondering why the bulb didn't light up.
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #54 on: March 24, 2018, 08:44:20 pm »
Yeah, buying stuff from the clueless can be a great bargain. It just depends on your risk tolerance and/or willingness to fix it if it has surprises.
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline ChrisLX200

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 458
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #55 on: March 24, 2018, 10:14:40 pm »
'Easy repair' - yeah, if it's that easy why didn't you do it?
 

Offline Po6ept

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 89
  • Country: 00
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #56 on: March 25, 2018, 09:45:24 pm »
'Easy repair' - yeah, if it's that easy why didn't you do it?


"Easy repair" is almost inevitably followed by, "probably a bad capacitor".  They even diagnose it for you!
 

Offline Tony_GTopic starter

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 912
  • Country: us
  • Checkout my old test gear channel (link in sig)
    • TGSoapbox
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #57 on: March 26, 2018, 02:12:54 am »
My current annoyance is sellers who will show you photos of random stuff but never the details on the red calibration reject tags...

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #58 on: March 26, 2018, 02:23:32 am »
A related thing with photos is when a seller includes 12 pics, but it's three copies each of only four different images.
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline Brumby

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 12298
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #59 on: March 26, 2018, 02:38:24 am »
Then there's the step up from that where they do take individual photos - but two or three of them are from almost identical angles and show no additional information.
 

Offline Halcyon

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 5681
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #60 on: March 26, 2018, 06:39:39 am »
Personally I vote for the "Pulled from a ..." as the all-time most worthless phrase.

I think I agree with you there. In addition, I'm seeing phrases such as "Working pull", "Server pull" etc... making their way into listings. I guess they are attempting to sound more "techy" by using buzz words that are completely made up. In Australia "pull" tends to have a different connotation.

Depending on the item, I've also seen things like "Stored in a climate and humidity controlled environment"... in other words, it sat in a room fitted with an air conditioner.

It also frustrates me that some people try and flog crappy computers from the early 2010's as "vintage".
 

Offline Chris-IP5

  • Contributor
  • Posts: 19
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #61 on: March 30, 2018, 05:10:43 am »
I asked a seller a question about a PSU I was interested in buying. He replied simply "It does what the advert says". Turned out it didn't do much properly.

"Photo is of the item for sale" ... is that the only good thing going for it?
 

Online tggzzz

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 19517
  • Country: gb
  • Numbers, not adjectives
    • Having fun doing more, with less
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #62 on: March 30, 2018, 07:46:47 am »
"Photo is of the item for sale" ... is that the only good thing going for it?

If that is all the advert said, that is a valid point. But too many adverts contain stock images, or there are several second-hand devices with one "representative" image.
There are lies, damned lies, statistics - and ADC/DAC specs.
Glider pilot's aphorism: "there is no substitute for span". Retort: "There is a substitute: skill+imagination. But you can buy span".
Having fun doing more, with less
 

Online tggzzz

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 19517
  • Country: gb
  • Numbers, not adjectives
    • Having fun doing more, with less
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #63 on: March 30, 2018, 07:48:55 am »
Depending on the item, I've also seen things like "Stored in a climate and humidity controlled environment"... in other words, it sat in a room fitted with an air conditioner.

Might be better than a garage, loft, or barn - and all of those are possible.
There are lies, damned lies, statistics - and ADC/DAC specs.
Glider pilot's aphorism: "there is no substitute for span". Retort: "There is a substitute: skill+imagination. But you can buy span".
Having fun doing more, with less
 

Offline grumpydoc

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2905
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #64 on: March 30, 2018, 08:43:42 am »
My favorites:

- Turns on but can't test it because I have no clue what it is...

Those are annoying, but sometimes they honestly don know what they are doing.  I managed to get a working HP power supply for 20 bucks because the seller didn't know the difference between the negative terminal and earth ground.  He had plugged a 12V light bulb into + and earth ground and was wondering why the bulb didn't light up.
However, quite a lot of the time when you explore the "can't test it because I have no clue what it is" you discover that the seller has loads of other test equipment for sale which would be more than enough to demonstrate the item in question.
 

Online tggzzz

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 19517
  • Country: gb
  • Numbers, not adjectives
    • Having fun doing more, with less
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #65 on: March 30, 2018, 08:53:09 am »
My favorites:

- Turns on but can't test it because I have no clue what it is...

Those are annoying, but sometimes they honestly don know what they are doing.  I managed to get a working HP power supply for 20 bucks because the seller didn't know the difference between the negative terminal and earth ground.  He had plugged a 12V light bulb into + and earth ground and was wondering why the bulb didn't light up.
However, quite a lot of the time when you explore the "can't test it because I have no clue what it is" you discover that the seller has loads of other test equipment for sale which would be more than enough to demonstrate the item in question.

Yes, in which case there are possibilities:
  • seller is a buy it and sell it quick dealer
  • if not, the phrase does provide useful information :)
There are lies, damned lies, statistics - and ADC/DAC specs.
Glider pilot's aphorism: "there is no substitute for span". Retort: "There is a substitute: skill+imagination. But you can buy span".
Having fun doing more, with less
 

Offline Towger

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1645
  • Country: ie
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #66 on: March 30, 2018, 01:50:03 pm »
400W HF Amplifer (aka burner!)

Spares and Repairs: "LEDs no longer light up".

Reality= I 'had a go' at fixing it with a 500w soldering gun, by re soldering random joints all over the board.  Splattered burnt flux everywhere, lifted but repaired several tracks.

Solution: Cleaned PCB with IPA, tidied up several 're soldered' joints and tracks.  Replaced 3 burnt out fuse holders.

Success.
 

Offline grumpydoc

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2905
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #67 on: March 30, 2018, 04:35:48 pm »

Yes, in which case there are possibilities:
  • seller is a buy it and sell it quick dealer
  • if not, the phrase does provide useful information :)
Indeed.

When I was younger several of us from our small town computer club would frequent radio rallies - for the general electronics rather than the ham stuff.

We found it amusing (and pretty obvious) that vendors who had obviously acquired a job lot of some particular item had two piles on sale - "tested and working" and "untested".  :)
 
The following users thanked this post: SeanB

Offline Tony_GTopic starter

  • Frequent Contributor
  • **
  • Posts: 912
  • Country: us
  • Checkout my old test gear channel (link in sig)
    • TGSoapbox
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #68 on: March 30, 2018, 11:55:41 pm »
We found it amusing (and pretty obvious) that vendors who had obviously acquired a job lot of some particular item had two piles on sale - "tested and working" and "untested".  :)

Exactly. Any equipment offered by a T&M vendor that is marked "untested" should really be considered:

  • Broken
  • Scavenged of rare/expensive bits
  • Both

I get it that sometimes they can't afford to test everything but then they should simply plan for some of it returning rather than weaseling away under a "As-Is" banner.

TonyG

Offline mdszy

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 291
  • Country: us
  • somehow has an ee degree
    • szy.io
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #69 on: April 01, 2018, 11:43:08 pm »
Just gotta say I'm thankful for this thread, it's helping me learn how to write better eBay item descriptions and include better photos!  :-DD
somehow allowed to be a Pixie Wrangler in Training
eBay Store | My site | Hackaday.io Projects | my mastodon.technology profile
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #70 on: April 02, 2018, 02:41:17 am »
Excellent! :-+
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline Halcyon

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 5681
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #71 on: April 03, 2018, 02:46:37 am »
Just gotta say I'm thankful for this thread, it's helping me learn how to write better eBay item descriptions and include better photos!  :-DD

Just remain factual, concise and avoid trying to "tart up" the item you're selling. By all means describe the condition if it's not already clear from the photos but avoid using terms like "mint condition" because it's all relative. What might be "mint" to some people is far from the dictionary definition, especially if you're talking about a used item.

If there are faults or flaws with the item, even if it's just a scratch or there are some marks due to regular use, then say so. It's not just about what you say, but also what you don't say. If I see a listing with barely a sentence, I usually skip it because to me, the seller is being dishonest or deliberately trying to hide something.

That being said, don't go over-board, having sold thousands of items over the years, there is one thing I've noticed and that is people are stupid and don't read what they are actually bidding on. For example: Shipping -- If it's a large or bulky item that is impractical to ship, I will clearly specify in coloured, bold, underlined text that the item is for "pick up only from x location on certain days, between certain hours" but I can guarantee I'll get some muppet who will ask for a shipping estimate or they'll bid on it (and sometimes win the auction) with no intention of picking it up.

Also, don't use ebay wanker buzzwords like some of the ones mentioned in this thread. It's not only cringe-worthy but it makes you look like some kind of shonky used-car salesman. If I see a listing full of crap like that and trying to make something appear "rare" and "unique", I won't bid on it.

Final tip, take your own photos, don't just copy stock product photos from Google image search. People want to see the actual item they are bidding on, not a photoshopped marketing image. Again, it comes down to your reputation, if you're copying someone else's photos, I'll be thinking you are trying to hide something.
 

Offline Brumby

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 12298
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #72 on: April 03, 2018, 02:51:19 am »
I think mdszy was being ironic.
 

Offline mdszy

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 291
  • Country: us
  • somehow has an ee degree
    • szy.io
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #73 on: April 03, 2018, 02:59:21 am »
Just gotta say I'm thankful for this thread, it's helping me learn how to write better eBay item descriptions and include better photos!  :-DD

Just remain factual, concise and avoid trying to "tart up" the item you're selling. By all means describe the condition if it's not already clear from the photos but avoid using terms like "mint condition" because it's all relative. What might be "mint" to some people is far from the dictionary definition, especially if you're talking about a used item.

If there are faults or flaws with the item, even if it's just a scratch or there are some marks due to regular use, then say so. It's not just about what you say, but also what you don't say. If I see a listing with barely a sentence, I usually skip it because to me, the seller is being dishonest or deliberately trying to hide something.

That being said, don't go over-board, having sold thousands of items over the years, there is one thing I've noticed and that is people are stupid and don't read what they are actually bidding on. For example: Shipping -- If it's a large or bulky item that is impractical to ship, I will clearly specify in coloured, bold, underlined text that the item is for "pick up only from x location on certain days, between certain hours" but I can guarantee I'll get some muppet who will ask for a shipping estimate or they'll bid on it (and sometimes win the auction) with no intention of picking it up.

Also, don't use ebay wanker buzzwords like some of the ones mentioned in this thread. It's not only cringe-worthy but it makes you look like some kind of shonky used-car salesman. If I see a listing full of crap like that and trying to make something appear "rare" and "unique", I won't bid on it.

Final tip, take your own photos, don't just copy stock product photos from Google image search. People want to see the actual item they are bidding on, not a photoshopped marketing image. Again, it comes down to your reputation, if you're copying someone else's photos, I'll be thinking you are trying to hide something.

Absolutely. I do my best to describe the operation of the unit, take photos from all angles to show any defects, and mention if there's anything wrong with the unit, even simple cosmetic issues. I can't even imagine using stock google photos and not taking my own photos of the item!

I've also mentioned that if buyers want, I'd be more than happy to perform some test of the unit assuming it's simple enough, and provide a photo of the test being performed.

I think mdszy was being ironic.

I very honestly wasn't. I hadn't considered things like including photos of the unit in operation or not using certain phrasing that is vague and unhelpful. I wasn't being ironic!
« Last Edit: April 03, 2018, 03:03:35 am by mdszy »
somehow allowed to be a Pixie Wrangler in Training
eBay Store | My site | Hackaday.io Projects | my mastodon.technology profile
 

Offline Brumby

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 12298
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #74 on: April 03, 2018, 03:05:56 am »
Oh.

In that case, read Halcyon's post a couple more times.
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #75 on: April 03, 2018, 05:52:06 pm »
I think mdszy was being ironic.

I very honestly wasn't. I hadn't considered things like including photos of the unit in operation or not using certain phrasing that is vague and unhelpful. I wasn't being ironic!

It's good to know that even a thread that's primarily for ranting and/or humor has educational value.  :-+

Mdszy's response also makes one wonder what percentage of the eBay sellers whose methods we despise simply fall under Hanlon's razor (although I'd replace the word 'stupidity' with 'ignorance').
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline mdszy

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 291
  • Country: us
  • somehow has an ee degree
    • szy.io
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #76 on: April 03, 2018, 05:59:45 pm »
I think mdszy was being ironic.

I very honestly wasn't. I hadn't considered things like including photos of the unit in operation or not using certain phrasing that is vague and unhelpful. I wasn't being ironic!

It's good to know that even a thread that's primarily for ranting and/or humor has educational value.  :-+

Mdszy's response also makes one wonder what percentage of the eBay sellers whose methods we despise simply fall under Hanlon's razor (although I'd replace the word 'stupidity' with 'ignorance').

Yeah I'd imagine lots of it is people not knowing what they have and wanting to get it off their hands. Like a lot of the "pulled from a working environment" kind of things read to me as - I don't know what this is, I don't know how to test it. I very honestly hadn't considered "Oh, I'm saying this thing works, maybe I should include photos of it turned on." which, in hindsight, sounds kinda stupid. But still, I wasn't trying to screw anyone over or anything.
somehow allowed to be a Pixie Wrangler in Training
eBay Store | My site | Hackaday.io Projects | my mastodon.technology profile
 

Offline bitseeker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 9057
  • Country: us
  • Lots of engineer-tweakable parts inside!
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #77 on: April 03, 2018, 06:32:09 pm »
Yep, now if there was only a way to get those sellers to read this thread. ;D
TEA is the way. | TEA Time channel
 

Offline Brumby

  • Supporter
  • ****
  • Posts: 12298
  • Country: au
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #78 on: April 04, 2018, 06:44:41 am »
Change the word "worthless" to "worthwhile" in the thread title.


... but don't expect them to embark upon any intelligent action.
 

Offline dkonigs

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 107
  • Country: us
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #79 on: April 09, 2018, 06:36:27 am »
"Configured"

A phrase usually added by companies selling old enterprise-grade computers, as an excuse for jacking up the price up so high that no sane person would actually buy said product from them.
 

Offline CJay

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 4136
  • Country: gb
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #80 on: April 09, 2018, 10:06:39 am »
'Barn find' for any old rusty piece of crap that a seller has dredged up out of whatever swamp they live near.

'Vintage' yeah, whatever, I don;t ghive a toss if it's old or new, if I want it then that word has no meaning.

'Rare', usually applied to items which sold in tens if not hundreds of thousands so it's not 'rare' at all.

'working but sold as spares & repairs only because of screwdriver experts' Usually applied to old radio gear and a pretty sure fire indicator that it's a piece of crap that's had more people in it than the workers in a brothel.

'Widebanded' see above.

'an easy fix for someone who knows what they're doing', again, see above but also means 'everyone I know has had a go and buggered it up even more'

'haven't got time to fix it', same again.



 

Offline Stray Electron

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2050
Re: What are your favourite worthless auction phrases?
« Reply #81 on: April 10, 2018, 03:02:52 am »
We found it amusing (and pretty obvious) that vendors who had obviously acquired a job lot of some particular item had two piles on sale - "tested and working" and "untested".  :)

Exactly. Any equipment offered by a T&M vendor that is marked "untested" should really be considered:

  • Broken
  • Scavenged of rare/expensive bits
  • Both


   All of the above = Tucker Electronics.   Look at one of their REAL test equipment catalogs one day.  Everything that they sell on E-bay is the leftover junk that should have gone into the trash dumpster.
 


Share me

Digg  Facebook  SlashDot  Delicious  Technorati  Twitter  Google  Yahoo
Smf