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Bad Electronics Jokes
Posted by
niconiconi
on 20 Apr, 2022 19:43
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Some terrible electronics and computing jokes I made over the years, some people at here may enjoy them.
Q: A linear regulator has a power efficiency problem and asks for help. What did the switched-mode power supply answer?
A: Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Q: Why has the hardware developer stopped eating junk food recently?
A: Because of chip shortage.
Q: What do you call a hardware developer who accidentally plugged 5 V logic to a 3.3 V UART port?
A: A serial killer.
Q: Why does Shahriar Shahramian need a lab cat for The Signal Path?
A: It's all about meowlimeter waves.
Q: What do you say when a microcontroller dies?
A: /RST in peace.
Q: Why does the amplifier refuse to work?
A: It demands proper compensation.
Q: What do you call when the White House or the Congress keeps changing its official stance back and forth?
A: Washington AC.
Q: Why do digital design engineers always have extremely busy jobs?
A: They have to work around the clock.
Q: Why can't a high-speed transmission line find a job?
A: It must be terminated.
Q: Why did vector voltmeters become obsolete?
A: They don't solve real problems.
Q: What does an EEPROM become during the pandemic?
A: A Mask ROM.
Q: What do you call two network operators in an unhealthy relationship?
A: A twisted pair.
Q: What do you call a monopole antenna when it was patented by Marconi back then?
A: A monopoly antenna.
Q: What does an amplifier says when there's a lot of high-frequency noise in its power supply?
A: "It Hertz!"
Q: What do you say when a sensor mysteriously stopped working?
A: It doesn't make sense!
Q: What do you say when a hardware developer is ignoring the signal integrity problems in the system?
A: Open your eyes!
Q: Why did YouTube demonetize a video lecture on control systems?
A: It's full of negative feedback.
Q: What do you call a programming language that only supports integers?
A: A pointless programming language.
Q: What do you call a secret conspiracy by a group of analog electronics designers?
A: The Bode Plot.
Q: What does a technician say when the multimeter gives a wrong reading?
A: It could just be a Fluke.
Q: Why do Ethernet transceivers always argue with each other?
A: Because they can't find a common ground.
Q: Why can't the UK just cancel Brexit?
A: The instruction "br exit" is an unconditional jump.
Q: What do you say when a new CPU vulnerability is announced but details are still under embargo?
A: I can make some predictions, but it's all speculative.
Q: What does a USB device say when it gets angry?
A: Am I just a J/K to you?!
Q: What does a hardware developer say when an EEPROM is accidentally erased?
A: What the FF?
Q: What do you say when a datasheet is missing important information or full of mistakes?
A: Datashit.
Q: What do you say when you reopen Matlab after it crashes?
A: The Matrix Reloaded.
Q: Why did a mathematician purchase a bunch of coils and transformers before writing the paper?
A: Proof by induction.
Q: What does an engineer say to an opamp when it's used as a rail splitter?
A: Hold your ground!
Q: Why did Scalar Network Analyzer become obsolete in electronics?
A: Because history is written by the vector.
Q: What is your job title when your electronics project is really boring?
A: circuit bored designer.
Q: What do you call a cheap step-down power converter that costs under $1?
A: A buck converter.
Q: What do you say when you've wasted many hours on a defective eval board?
A: Evil board.
Q: A radio engineer owns an airplane but it never leaves the airport, why?
A: For most RF circuits to work properly, you need a ground plane.
Q: What is the best job for a Low-Barrier Schottky Diode detector?
A: Wikipedia editor. Because it works without bias.
Q: What do you say when you are puzzled by a mysterious integer overflow bug?
A: It doesn't add up.
Q: What does an engineer say when an amplifier works but with some harmonic distortions?
A: Fundamentally, it's not really a problem.
Q: If you are making a series of tutorials on impedance matching, what should you say at the beginning?
A: Stay tuned!
Q: If you are making a tutorial on control systems, what should you say to your audience?
A: Your feedback is important!
Q: Why did an RF engineer go to Area 51 to work on an Ethernet system?
A: To solve the alien crosstalk problem.
Q: Why do you need a capacitor before start watching US politics on C-SPAN TV?
A: To protect yourself from DC bias.
Q: What do you say when a robot is broken after a Darlington power transistor failed?
A: The robot has bipolar disorder.
Q: How does an antenna designer solve an impedance matching problem with a Vector Network Analyzer?
A: Taking a moment of reflection.
Q: Why was the electronics manufacturing engineer fired from the job, but later became a successful architect?
A: for creating a lot of bridges.
Q: Why can't investors make a conclusion about the current 5G mobile chipset market?
A: They always get mixed signals.
Q: When do you say when a spy sold you top-secret technical data on x86 processor microarchitectures?
A: Good intel.
Q: What does an impedance analyzer say when you connect a capacitor to it?
A: Is it real or am I just imagining things?
Q: What do you say when a power supply is broken after its electrolytic capacitors have gone bad?
A: The power supply is incapacitated.
Q: What do you say when an engineer from Poland got paid after leading a labor dispute?
A: Dominant-pole compensation.
Q: What do you say when a broken PIN diode switch took down the RF amplifier?
A: No PIN, no gain.
Q: Why did a group of VCs refuse to invest in a startup company which is trying to build a new CPU?
A1: Too much RISC.
A2: Because it costs an ARM and a Lag.
Q: Why is it slow to send data over a serial port?
A: You have to go bit by bit.
Q: What do you say when your power supply supports remote sensing for cable voltage drop compensation?
A: Resistance is futile.
Q: What do you call when ham radio operators on the shortwave are talking about things to sell for hamfest?
A: High Frequency Trading.
Q: What do you say when people are talking about control theory and you don't understand anything?
A: I'm out of the loop.
Q: Why did the Analog Devices CEO power up a 7805 breadboard before purchasing Linear Technology?
A: The acquisition must be approved by the regulators.
Q: Why does the NIST have a large supply of Doublemint in its physics labs?
A: All measurement uncertainty must be calculated according to the GUM.
Q: What does an RF amplifier do after it's destroyed by an output open circuit by some clueless maintenance crew?
A: Suing for wrongful termination.
Q: What do you say when you're searching for a high-voltage circuit, and finally found a suitable design that looks promising?
A: It has a big potential!
Q: When the '\a' character on your Unix terminal doesn't beep, where is the best place to find an expert to solve your problem?
A: Bell Labs.
Q: Why did an embedded programmer rewrite a 100-line loop and joined them as a 10000-character single line in C?
A: The book said reducing loop area is the key to control electromagnetic interference.
Q: How do you describe the fact that low-side current sensing at ground is easier than high-side current sensing?
A: It's common sense.
Q: Why should you never allow an RF/microwave technician to test your embedded system?
A: Your system will get de-embedded.
Q: What does a motherboard designer say when the deadline is near but a high-speed signal problem caught them in surprise and the CPU is not working?
A: "Oh DDR!"
Q: What do you call when you have a lot of 7400 chips but you refuse to give or sell them to someone else?
A: Gatekeeping.
Q: What do you say when a buggy device keeps generating spurious interrupts, says something is there, but every time the CPU went to process it, there's nothing, and a lot of system resources is wasted?
A: The IRQ War.
Q: Why is the production of the BIOS chips delayed?
A: ROM wasn't build in a day.
Q: What do you say when an amplifier has unwanted lag in the feedback loop, but you still get some phase margin left?
A: instability can be a problem, but only to a lesser degree.
Q: What do you say when your Tektronix oscilloscope is broken, and it cannot be fixed on site so you'll have to live without the scope in the following days?
A: You have a "Teknical" problem, and your problem is "out of scope".
Q: What do electronics engineers do when they are asked to reproduce a software bug that crashes the system only after a 100-day uptime?
A: Placing it in an oven, heating it up to 125 degrees, and then apply Arrhenius Equation to it.
Q: What do you say when a purchase order of rigid coax cables gets delayed due to supply-chain difficulties, but the company insists the vendor to deliver it on time and refuses to renegotiate the terms?
A: "We are taking a hard-line stance on this problem!"
Q: A PCB designer spent a lot of time on optimization, eventually, even all the right-angle bends are carefully mitered to preserved the characteristic impedance. But the customer rejected the finished product, why?
A: "Look at the circuit board! See? They are cutting corners!"
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OK, #2. To help our engineers, tomorrow I will be bringing in bags of Doritos, Lays, and etc. to help them cope with our chip shortage.
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What do you say to a digital designer that needs to synthesize and simulate everything before he understands it ?
More TTL and less VHDL.
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#3 Reply
Posted by
Zbig
on 05 May, 2022 12:57
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Wow, you've set a pretty dry... I mean pretty high bar right there, but I'll bite
- What is the technical university's analog electronics design faculty specializing in voltage regulator design most famous for?
- Low Drop-Out
- Audio design lab cat had two kittens. Their names?
- Wow & Flutter
- Why did a boutique audio shop switch to solid state?
- They were tired of creating ideas in vacuum
- Title of the documentary about leading DSP company researchers?
- Fast and Fouriers
- Why did nobody like this smartphone repair shop?
- It was full of hot air
- Why did all the DC power supplies fail one after another?
- Ripple effect
- What was the doctor's advice for a network technician's gastric problems?
- More fiber
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#4 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 05 May, 2022 15:18
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Q: What do you say, when a Microcontroller finally dies ?
A: Actually they are all made out of (Silicone) dies.
Q: A Resistor fell in love with a nearby female family member, what do you say ?
A: Resist-her.
Q: What to do if a Transistor, keeps on over-eating ?
A: Use a heatsink, to stop it over-eating.
Q: What Camera accessory, is best for shooting pictures and saving your pictures on ?
A: Flash gun
Q: What do you use, to make funny electronic foods stuffs with ?
A: Silly-con Wafers, or Silly-con Chips.
Q: How many homes, does a resistor factory worker need ?
A: Just one ohm.
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#5 Reply
Posted by
NiHaoMike
on 06 May, 2022 02:13
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I used to not consider AMD products, but then they had Ryzen...
Did you hear about the time Alayna Phillips connected a LED to a 10MHz oscillator? She considers 10MHz and below DC...
Latch up: when CMOS circuits go bipolar.
The Joe Smith 14kV DMM test: if it survives, it's a Fluke.
"So I used to really love diodes, but, I always felt like that feeling was one way!" - Xyla Foxlin
Q: What do you say when your Tektronix oscilloscope is broken, and it cannot be fixed on site so you'll have to live without the scope in the following days?
A: You have a "Teknical" problem, and your problem is "out of scope".
Actual experience with Agilent at work: you know it's bad when they send a rep over to explain that they're "out of scopes".
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#6 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 07 May, 2022 12:31
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Q: How do you describe the process of impedance matching?
A: It's complex.
Q: Why are electronics engineers bad at cooking?
A: They use too much SPICE.
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#7 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 07 May, 2022 12:37
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Vendor-specific jokes:
Q: What do you call when you have Broadcom chips but can't really do anything without datasheets, which are all under NDA?
A: BoredCom.
Q: What do you say when a Realtek network adapter doesn't work?
A: Faketek.
Q: What do you say when a Richtek power management chip doesn't work?
A: Poortek.
Q: What do you say when the Allwinner ARM SoC has a silicon bug?
A: AllLoser.
Q: What do you say when an ASMedia PCIe controller is defective?
A: ASSMedia.
Q: What do you say when a Huawei HiSilicon chip has a lot of bugs?
A: LoSilicon.
Q: What do you say when a Huawei HiSilicon chip is damaged?
A: ByeSilicon.
Q: What do you say when a Huawei HiSilicon chip has high power consumption and runs really hot?
A: HiSiliconCarbide
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#8 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 07 May, 2022 12:43
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Q: Which logic device keeps on making jokes?
A: A JK Flip-Flop.
Q: Which component can give you chemical poisoning, despite having no dangerous chemicals, in it?
A: LEDs, as they still aren't LED free yet.
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#9 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 07 May, 2022 16:48
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Q: What do you say when the management is always looking for the cheapest resistors and capacitors to cut costs?
A: The management is passive-aggressive.
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#10 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 08 May, 2022 02:03
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Q: What chipset in around the 2000's behaved like a sissy?
A: The SiS 530
Q: What is the state of broadband in the UK?
A: Patchwork Britain.
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#11 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 10 May, 2022 19:10
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Q: Why didn't an RF system vendor get many sales after advertising their products?
A: The ad says their performance is "unmatched".
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#12 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 12 May, 2022 21:34
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Q: What do you say when you are selling electronics soldering kits for an 8-bit retro computer?
A: Some assembly required, just use the provided instructions.
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#13 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 May, 2022 11:08
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Q: What do you say when someone asks you how to build bandpass filters with a very high Q?
A: The solution should be crystal clear, you already SAW that in the book before.
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#14 Reply
Posted by
Teti
on 15 May, 2022 19:34
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I just leave this here for later
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#15 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 17 May, 2022 05:53
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Q: Why did digital designers come late to work?
A: Insufficient margin in the bus timing.
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This may be the largest compilation of electronics jokes on this Earth, bless you
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#17 Reply
Posted by
Kaziq
on 18 May, 2022 09:21
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Q: Why AM radio receiver persuaded its brother to change his gender?
A: It wanted to have a trans-sister.
Also not exactly electronics, but anyway:
Q: What did Elon Musk name a company that didn't do anything interesting?
A: The boring company.
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#18 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 18 May, 2022 09:50
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Q: How much charge, is there between a metal plated air-gap capacitor, with 1mm spacing and 2.5 volts across it ?
A: None, air is free of charge (£/$'s)
Q: Who can charge a fully broken/expired battery ?
A: A Businessman or taxman. They can charge (£/$'s) for almost anything.
Q: Why does a capacitor, always give out electric shocks, even when fully discharged ?
A: Because capacitors, are usually not free of charge (£/$'s)
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#19 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 18 May, 2022 15:06
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Q: How does an RF designer find the input impedance of an amplifier?
A: By taking a moment of reflection.
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#20 Reply
Posted by
NiHaoMike
on 19 May, 2022 02:04
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Q: Why did digital designers come late to work?
A: Insufficient margin in the bus timing.
Whoever named the data bus obviously doesn't actually take the bus because those work like Token Ring!
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what do you call two engineers that get along , but not with anyone else ?
the twisted pair
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#22 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 19 May, 2022 20:27
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Q: What component, is made up of crushed up, peoples pets/animals?
A: Cat5 Cable
Q: What type of weather, has the biggest storage capacity?
A: Cloud storage
Q: Which component, never gets caught by the Police?
A: A capacitor, as it always manages to out foil the police detectives
Q: Which component, appears most often in the Movies?
A: A film capacitor
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#23 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 20 May, 2022 03:38
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Q: What can cause buffer overflow problems at the tap?
A: Beer.
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Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Neither knows how to solder.
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#25 Reply
Posted by
NiHaoMike
on 21 May, 2022 15:15
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Q: What can cause buffer overflow problems at the tap?
A: Beer.
Any carbonated liquid has that problem if there's something dissolved that promotes foaming.
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#26 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 21 May, 2022 20:26
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Just to clarify I meant when the glass is filling up from the tap and it overflows and then the barman has to wait a bit for it to go down.
Sorry if it was a poor joke.
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#27 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 22 May, 2022 20:18
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Q: What happens when someone finds an electrical shock hazard in an airplane's avionics?
A: Get grounded.
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#28 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 22 May, 2022 20:31
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Q: What kind of software bugs can crash autonomous cars?
A: A bad driver.
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#29 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 23 May, 2022 00:05
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Q: What do you get, if you mix a prison with a battery?
A: A Lithium Iron Cell
Q: What do you call an empty resistor?
A: A capacitor
Q: What do you get if you cross a Chicken with a power cell?
A: A battery hen
Q: How many electronics engineers, does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they are all LEDs, these days
Q: Why didn't the mains plug, cross the road?
A: Because there was a (mains) cycle, coming along the road
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#30 Reply
Posted by
BU508A
on 24 May, 2022 05:50
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They are not bad jokes. They are all true, every single one of them!
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#31 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 May, 2022 16:31
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Q: Why can't the broken VT220 be fixed by electronics technicians?
A: It has a terminal disease.
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#32 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 May, 2022 16:57
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Q: Why did you need to wait in a long line at Radio Shack to buy a 6502 microprocessor?
A: Not enough registers.
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#33 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 28 May, 2022 12:03
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Q: What is your opinion on the applications of Superconducting Quantum Interference Device?
A: It's a cool technology.
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#34 Reply
Posted by
Deni
on 28 May, 2022 17:17
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Q: Which type of girls do electronic guys like the most?
A: Common-base type, because they have the lowest input resistance...
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#35 Reply
Posted by
quadtech
on 29 May, 2022 09:00
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No offence meant -
NTSB investigation on why the flight from Warsaw crashed - the last words from the pilot - on your right is the Statue of Liberty and
then the plane crashed.
The smart EE figured out that the instability happened as the poles moved to the right half of the plane (to look out the window)
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#36 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 29 May, 2022 10:21
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Q: Which component, is always made out of already dead components?
A: CPU Dies
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#37 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 01 Jun, 2022 09:04
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Q: Why does the circuit board factory make bare copper boards without tin plating?
A: It's too much of a HASL.
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#38 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 01 Jun, 2022 11:05
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Q: Which component, is always made out of already dead components?
A: CPU Dies
I had a similar joke (already made before Linus did) but I didn't post it here:
Q: What do you call a piece of damaged silicon die that has released its magic smoke?
A: Died.
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#39 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 01 Jun, 2022 11:15
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Q: What do you call a broken embedded system?
A: An embed-dead system.
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#40 Reply
Posted by
Labrat101
on 01 Jun, 2022 11:18
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Q: what's the difference between a pregnant woman., and a light bulb..
.
A: you can unscrew a light bulb 💡.
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#41 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 01 Jun, 2022 14:02
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Q: Which component, makes the loudest and most annoying sounding racket?
A: A high noise diode
Q: Which component, already has an air-tight container, for when or if, it breaks?
A: A Fuse
Q: Which component, is only suppose to be used only once?
A: A Fuze
Q: Which component, is always the correct value?
A: A trimmer
Q: Which component, admits to being the lightest possible part?
A: An LED, as they always admit/emit light, when on
Q: What component types, are still on, even if switched off, and without power?
A: All of On-Semi's component range
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#42 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 06 Jun, 2022 00:12
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Q: What do you say when a chip designer is eating snacks at work while testing some new silicon?
A: On-wafer measurement.
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#43 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 06 Jun, 2022 19:04
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Q: What do you say when you received a supercapacitor from a company as a free sample, but it doesn't work?
A: It's free of charge.
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#44 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 06 Jun, 2022 19:06
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Q: What is a Disney lawyer's most favorite Windows command?
A: ipconfig /renew
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#45 Reply
Posted by
TimFox
on 06 Jun, 2022 19:21
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Old joke:
Three engineers are traveling in one car to a jobsite.
Suddenly, the car stops.
The mechanical engineer says, "Must be a mechanical problem--I've got my toolbox in the trunk."
The electrical engineer says, "Must be an electrical problem--I've got a multimeter in my briefcase."
The software engineer says, "Open and close all the doors, then re-start the engine."
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#46 Reply
Posted by
Ducttape
on 09 Jun, 2022 18:10
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Q: What was Leonard Bernstein when he had completed half of his music education?
A: A semi-conductor.
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#47 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 17 Jun, 2022 21:16
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Q: What does a radio frequency amplifier say to the transistors?
A: All your base are belong to us.
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#48 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 17 Jun, 2022 21:25
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Q: What is the theoretical basis of a capacitor factory in Soviet Russia?
A: Dielectrical materialism.
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#49 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 20 Jun, 2022 22:00
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Q: What should you do when the music from a shortwave radio is too boring?
A: Try a different band.
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The first joke was by far and away the worst joke I have ever heard.
Except for my first joke, of course.
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#51 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 29 Jun, 2022 13:33
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Q: What does a US electrician say when your house lost 240 V but the power company is working on it?
A: It's just a phase.
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#52 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 29 Jun, 2022 14:06
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Electromagnetic interference from the signal line is surely a headache...
...But it can be coaxed into compliance.
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#53 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 29 Jun, 2022 15:02
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Q: The NSA is building a new code-breaking supercomputer, what is this project's slogan?
A: Intel inside.
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#54 Reply
Posted by
JohnG
on 29 Jun, 2022 15:32
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A duck walks into Radio Shack to buy a capacitor. The clerk says, "Do you want to charge it?"
The duck replies, "No, put it on my bill."
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#55 Reply
Posted by
JohnG
on 30 Jun, 2022 03:02
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A neutron goes into Radio Shack and asks for a capacitor.
"How much?" asks the neutron.
"For you, no charge." says the clerk.
Giving credit where it is due:
http://www.kafejo.com/haha/farads.htm
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#56 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 30 Jun, 2022 16:40
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Q: What does a government speaker say in response to the media report that critical infrastructure is running on unmaintainable legacy software?
A: No comment.
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#57 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 30 Jun, 2022 16:54
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Q: What is the coolest electronics device in the world?
A: A Type-I superconductor.
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A power sensor walks into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m glad you’re here; I need to take a measurement. Can you take a peek?” And the sensor responds, “No sorry, I’m only an average power sensor.”
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#59 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 30 Jun, 2022 22:49
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A power sensor walks into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m glad you’re here; I need to take a measurement. Can you take a peek?” And the sensor responds, “No sorry, I’m only an average power sensor.”
+1. This one is pretty funny. I think I've seen that in an Anritsu RF application note.
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#61 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 08 Jul, 2022 02:02
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A: In England how many gates have their been?
Q: 3 (Partygate, beergate, sleezegate)
A: What happened to the current British Government?
B: It had a mid air breakup.
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#62 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 11 Jul, 2022 14:08
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Q: Why did the US Army Signal Corps lose in a cold-weapon combat?
A: Bad shielding.
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#63 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 11 Jul, 2022 14:15
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Q: What do you say when a circuit board doesn't follow the creepage and clearance rules?
A: It has a potential problem.
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#64 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 11 Jul, 2022 15:43
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I posted a web tutorial about how to build oscillator circuits...
...It keeps receiving positive feedback.
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#65 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 11 Jul, 2022 15:56
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Q: What do you say when a vendor finally fixed instability problems in their bad amplifier design?
A: It just did a 180.
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#66 Reply
Posted by
Neper
on 11 Jul, 2022 18:39
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Q: What's the difference between homemade RF oscillators and RF amplifiers?
A: Homemade RF oscillators will never oscillate the first time you switch them on.
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#67 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 12 Jul, 2022 06:22
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A: What is it called when children have a temper tantrum (scream, collapse on the floor or do a little dance) in the shopping mall because the parent's refuse to reward them with toys and candy?
B: Flip Flop.
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#68 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 13 Jul, 2022 06:07
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Q: A MOSFET said BJTs are always a bad choice because they require current to operate. What did the BJT reply?
A: This accusation is baseless, it's just your typical MOSFET gatekeeping.
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#69 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 13 Jul, 2022 06:17
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A: What food do "flat earthers" over indulge on?
B:Pizza
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#70 Reply
Posted by
Berni
on 13 Jul, 2022 08:15
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The local orchestra on an outdoor venue got caught in some bad weather and lightning struck the guy in the front.
Shame really. He was a really good conductor.
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#71 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 13 Jul, 2022 08:20
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The local orchestra on an outdoor venue got caught in some bad weather and lightning struck the guy in the front.
Shame really. He was a really good conductor.
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#72 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 16 Jul, 2022 08:40
-
Q: What kind of electronics do you need to find the sources of illegal air pollution?
A: An emitter follower.
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#73 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 18 Jul, 2022 15:34
-
Q: What do you say when you ordered some power supplies but found they're all defective, and must be shipped back by air?
A: Flyback converters.
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#74 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 20 Jul, 2022 03:41
-
If i had a cesium frequency standard...
...I would probably use it from time to time.
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#75 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 23 Jul, 2022 02:11
-
Q: What happens when a batch of MIL-spec capacitors are rejected?
A: Get discharged.
Q: Why did the project manager reject that design with supercapacitors?
A: They charge too much.
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#76 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 25 Jul, 2022 01:57
-
Q: What type of rectifier diodes should you use in medical equipment?
A: Fast recovery diodes.
Q: What kind of capacitors should you use in a DVD player?
A: Film capacitors.
-
-
Just a thought, could there be a load of these jokes produced from the idea:
"exam answers received when we accidentally gave the electronics students the humanities papers"
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#78 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 06 Aug, 2022 09:29
-
Q: Why does an analog design engineer open the databook of Zener diodes?
A: To find a reference.
-
#79 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 08 Aug, 2022 03:55
-
Q: If you're replicating the original radio wave experiment, what do you say when you accidentally touch the electrodes?
A: It hertz!
-
#80 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 18 Aug, 2022 14:57
-
Q: What is the reason of measurement drifts in oscilloscopes?
A: Plate Tektronix.
-
#81 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 22 Aug, 2022 02:58
-
Q: What do you say when a magnetic sensor doesn't work properly despite repeated attempts?
A: "What the Hall?"
-
-
What do ogres and the OSI model have in common?
Both have layers.
-
#83 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 25 Aug, 2022 04:35
-
Q: What do you say when a factory exploded after a process control system failure?
A: Bang-bang controller.
-
#84 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 01 Sep, 2022 16:09
-
Q: What do you say when someone asks you to build a monostable trigger circuit?
A: "I'll give it one shot."
-
#85 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 02 Sep, 2022 01:36
-
Q: Which tech publisher always carefully checks all their books and you almost never see an error?
A: CRC Press.
-
#86 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 02 Sep, 2022 23:25
-
Q: Why did an electronics component maker go out of business even when their products have a reputation of never breaking down?
A: The company makes spark plugs.
-
#87 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 06 Sep, 2022 11:50
-
Q: What do you call a fierce competition between several embedded system vendors?
A: An ARMed conflict.
-
#88 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 11 Sep, 2022 11:00
-
Q: What happens after people found some components from a cheap electronics supplier were unreliable under high temperature?
A: Get a lower rating.
-
#89 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 24 Sep, 2022 10:14
-
Q: Why has the hardware developer stopped eating junk food since recent years?
A: Because there's a shortage of chips and wafers.
-
#90 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 24 Sep, 2022 22:00
-
A: What are they poor at when they can't assemble properly?
B: Assembly language.
-
#91 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 28 Sep, 2022 01:38
-
Q: What reason is given when the delivery of the new precision shunt resistors is delayed?
A: The Kelvin bridge is closed.
-
#92 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 28 Sep, 2022 01:50
-
Q: What do you say when you're building a retrocomputer but its operating frequency is too high to be authentic?
A: Your clock signal is not "period-correct"
-
#93 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 28 Sep, 2022 02:05
-
Q: How do you describe the process of analyzing a circuit's frequency response in time domain?
A: It's convoluted.
-
#94 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 30 Sep, 2022 21:00
-
Q: What am I when they start charging for 'tokens' instead of a 'fee' just for the privilege of using my device.
A: Third world citizen.
Q: What is it when I smash up a memory stick with a stone.
A: Sticks and stones.
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#95 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 03 Oct, 2022 08:41
-
My son was chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
-
#96 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 05 Oct, 2022 04:10
-
Q: What kind of circuit board assembly technique is the best for making oscilloscopes and signal generators?
A: Wave soldering.
-
#97 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 05 Oct, 2022 04:38
-
Adds a whole new meaning to bricking the computer.
-
-
Adds a whole new meaning to bricking the computer.
It looks like you've cemented the joke.
-
#99 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 06 Oct, 2022 05:25
-
Q: What do you call an AC mains power supply that violates electrical spacing rules?
A: It's creepy.
-
#100 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 06 Oct, 2022 06:03
-
Q: Why are genderless connectors, no good for computer data connections?
A: Because they have a non-binary gender.
-
#101 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 07 Oct, 2022 14:08
-
Q: Why are genderless connectors, no good for computer data connections?
A: Because they have a non-binary gender.
PAM-5 has joined the chat...
-
#102 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 07 Oct, 2022 14:09
-
Q: What do you say when someone spent hours on Microchip's website but still could not find a microcontroller with enough features?
A: Being too PICky.
-
#103 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 07 Oct, 2022 19:22
-
Q: What is it when charities become too picky with placements?
A: Pick and place.
-
#104 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 13 Oct, 2022 06:02
-
Q: What should you do when the mains voltage from the grid has large fluctuations, and the power company is in violation of the national standards?
A: Find a regulator.
-
#105 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 13 Oct, 2022 07:02
-
Q: What do you give, a military spec capacitor, if it has been badly overloaded, with too much charge?
A: An honorable discharge.
-
#106 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 16 Oct, 2022 00:15
-
Q: What do you call when the music albums from a record company sound really bad and no better than noise?
A: EMI Records.
-
#107 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 17 Oct, 2022 00:18
-
Q: What do you say when you're reverse engineering a circuit board but you can't follow the signal inside an inner layer?
A: It disappears without a trace.
-
#108 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 18 Oct, 2022 20:34
-
Q: What company offers the best job for a cryptography expert on random number generator?
A: RAND Corporation.
P.S: I remembered this only after I posted the joke... In the mid-20th century, the book A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates was an important technical reference book if one needs some random number sequences. It's just funny that its publisher was, coincidentally, RAND Corporation...
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#109 Reply
Posted by
TimFox
on 18 Oct, 2022 21:20
-
Around the same time that the random number book was published, the following poem could be found on men's room walls in academic computer labs:
IBM,
UBM,
We all BM
For IBM.
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#110 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 20 Oct, 2022 05:08
-
Q: What do NSA operatives say when they plan to eavesdrop a target via electromagnetic side-channel, but it doesn't work due to good shielding?
A: They foiled our plan!
-
#111 Reply
Posted by
cool_man
on 21 Oct, 2022 13:35
-
Q: Why did the computer squeak?
A: Because someone stepped on its mouse!
Q: Why did the computer hiccup?
A: Because someone spilled soda on its keyboard!
Q: How does a computer get drunk?
A: It takes screenshots!
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#112 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 23 Oct, 2022 03:04
-
-
#113 Reply
Posted by
Zeyneb
on 23 Oct, 2022 09:18
-
Q: How to convince a shallow teen girl that Mosfet is the name of a boy.
A: Talk about its turn-on time.
-
#114 Reply
Posted by
Zeyneb
on 23 Oct, 2022 09:58
-
Oh I've got another one.
Q: How to convince a woman you've lost your mind?
A: Tell her there are flip-flops inside the computer case.
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#115 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 24 Oct, 2022 16:11
-
If a disgraced priest is defrocked, would a terrible electrician be delighted?
-
#116 Reply
Posted by
eti
on 28 Oct, 2022 02:19
-
What do you call an autistic snake?
“A binary adder”…
<tumbleweed>
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#117 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 28 Oct, 2022 02:54
-
^
He'll be here all week!
-
#118 Reply
Posted by
eti
on 28 Oct, 2022 02:56
-
^
He'll be here all week!
That literally dropped into my head on the spot. It's a homebrew joke. Hehe.
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#119 Reply
Posted by
eti
on 28 Oct, 2022 03:12
-
... flash sale.
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#120 Reply
Posted by
eti
on 28 Oct, 2022 03:27
-
So you want to know what it feels like to be drunk?
Ask a glass of water.
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#121 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 01 Nov, 2022 14:58
-
Q: Why did it take a long time for Intel engineers to design the 8259 controller?
A: Too many interruptions at work.
-
#122 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 01 Nov, 2022 16:45
-
Q: Why don't zero-ohm resistors have anywhere to stay?
A: Because they are ohmless
-
#123 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 Nov, 2022 23:33
-
Q: Why did the US military use hydrogen thyratrons instead of triodes to generate radar pulses during World War 2?
A: Because innovation doesn't happen in a vacuum.
-
#124 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 17 Nov, 2022 01:25
-
Q: What would you say in the 1990s when an engineering sample of a new DEC processor crashed?
A: It's still an early Alpha design.
-
-
Some terrible electronics and computing jokes I made over the years, some people at here may enjoy them.
Your avatar reminds me of a character called Tiffany from the movie "Men in Black".
To be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it.
Source: Amblin, MiB
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#126 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 18 Nov, 2022 12:13
-
Q: What does an embedded developer say when assembly code for a PIC16 microcontroller doesn't work?
A: W the F?
-
#127 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 21 Nov, 2022 20:22
-
Q: What's the difference between Fifa and Rifa
A: One kicks off immediately and the other kicks off 40 years down the line.
-
#128 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 24 Nov, 2022 07:54
-
Q: What do you say when equipment is destroyed by overvoltage despite gas-discharge tube protection?
A: There is a gap in the design.
-
#129 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 Nov, 2022 16:36
-
Q: What do you say when cheap SSDs are immediately sold out during a holiday?
A: A Flash sale.
-
#130 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 Nov, 2022 17:16
-
Q: What does a contractor say when customers found defective products with loose screws?
A: I don't know what you're torquing about.
-
#131 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 Nov, 2022 17:41
-
Q: Why was the technician arrested by the authority after driving too much power into a diode detector?
A: For violating the square law.
-
#132 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 Nov, 2022 17:52
-
Q: Why does a web server operated by electronics undergrads block all ports but 80 and 443?
A: They're only familiar with two-port networks.
-
#133 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 28 Nov, 2022 14:28
-
Q: Why do 8-bit computer programmers never have any bad experience with financial services?
A: They're good at bank switching.
-
#134 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 30 Nov, 2022 00:15
-
Q: What should you do when people believe that the energy in electrical circuits is carried by electrons?
A: Poynting out their mistake.
-
#135 Reply
Posted by
NiHaoMike
on 30 Nov, 2022 05:03
-
Q: What do you say when cheap SSDs are immediately sold out during a holiday?
A: A Flash sale.
$80 for 2TB (NVMe!) is pretty close to 2.5" HDD pricing, actually managed to get one which I then stuck in an enclosure for a great Ventoy drive.
Q: Why is EXT4 so great for a skinny SSD?
A: It's FAT free.
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#136 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 01 Dec, 2022 05:38
-
Q: What would make a good element for Photonicinduction?
A: Electroboom
-
#137 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 02 Dec, 2022 16:55
-
Q: What algorithm do electronics beginners use to find chips?
A: DIP-first search.
-
#138 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 03 Dec, 2022 02:05
-
Q: What do you say when design engineers suddenly decided to stop a CMOS project in favor of ECL to make it the world's fastest chip, at the cost of 100x higher power consumption?
A: They're going bipolar.
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#139 Reply
Posted by
eti
on 03 Dec, 2022 03:57
-
Q: Why don't zero-ohm resistors have anywhere to stay?
A: Because they are ohmless
That’s extremely contrived. 😁 - why would resistors need a home? My Dad forces “jokes” like that, heheh.
You’re far from alone on that score. I’ve seen countless “jokes” here that are SO forced, and my autism detector is going off no end (I have Asperger’s).
Google “what makes a joke work” - the basic elements are essential.
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#140 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 03 Dec, 2022 17:18
-
Q: What is red all over, but actually is made with a mixture of different colours?
A: eti
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#141 Reply
Posted by
Berni
on 03 Dec, 2022 18:53
-
That’s extremely contrived. 😁 - why would resistors need a home? My Dad forces “jokes” like that, heheh.
Well the title of the thread is Bad Electronics Jokes, not Good Electronics Jokes. Some jokes work on the premise of being so bad that they are funny (like dad jokes)
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#142 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 05 Dec, 2022 06:06
-
Q: What is poor conversion efficiency to the secondary where the losses on the primary side are none?
A: Fix betting odd terminals/gambling machines.
Anyone like to make some about gambling machines?
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#143 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 05 Dec, 2022 08:16
-
Q: What is poor conversion efficiency to the secondary where the losses on the primary side are none?
A: Fix betting odd terminals/gambling machines.
Anyone like to make some about gambling machines?
Youtuber Dave's Garage recently did a vid on slot machines and included some facts about probability, the winning algos and other stuff within.
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#144 Reply
Posted by
SeanB
on 05 Dec, 2022 08:38
-
Every single time you pull that handle, or press the button, the chances of you winning are still exactly the same, irrespective of the past winnings or losses.
-
#145 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 05 Dec, 2022 17:44
-
I don't think I explained well but my joke was about the money going in less coming out as I have seen at the local pubhouse.
I was told by the barman that the modern gambling machines provided to him are set to make a certain amount of money (where a percent goes to him and then the provider '76% payout' and said something about "the house always wins" where they will always make money otherwise they wouldn't be there.
Q: What is someone not asking themselves when they keep on topping up a fixed odd betting terminal only to keep on loosing?
A: Are you playing it or is it playing you?
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#146 Reply
Posted by
tom66
on 05 Dec, 2022 18:04
-
Every single time you pull that handle, or press the button, the chances of you winning are still exactly the same, irrespective of the past winnings or losses.
No, because I swear man, I like, have a system. All I need to do is get 7 losses in a row then I'm guaranteed to have a win.... A friend of mine tried to convince me that the gambler's fallacy applied to the stock market, that based on a past decline trend one could essentially guarantee an increase the next week. Little did I know at the time, this is actually an entire field called technical analysis, and it is almost entirely bullshit.
Oh, wait, this is a jokes thread.
-
#147 Reply
Posted by
NiHaoMike
on 06 Dec, 2022 04:48
-
Q: Why do 8-bit computer programmers never have any bad experience with financial services?
A: They're good at bank switching.
I forwarded that joke to a friend who is an accountant, she thought it was funny once I explained it to her.
-
#148 Reply
Posted by
TimFox
on 06 Dec, 2022 17:38
-
In the same vein, one of my engineer colleagues complained that Excel could not handle complex numbers directly.
I explained that Excel was invented for accountants, and that they could be jailed for using imaginary numbers.
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#149 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 08 Dec, 2022 04:17
-
Q: What does an experimenter say when the laser build is successful?
A: HeHeHe.
Every single time you pull that handle, or press the button, the chances of you winning are still exactly the same, irrespective of the past winnings or losses.
Little did I know at the time, this is actually an entire field called technical analysis, and it is almost entirely bullshit.
Oh, wait, this is a jokes thread.
The most "interesting" justification of technical analysis I've heard of is that since enough people already believe it, it may occasionally "work" as a self-fulfilling prophecy, it's said that Ichimoku charts only work in Japan because of that.
-
-
Google “what makes a joke work” - the basic elements are essential.
Eti ite.
(That is colloquial Finnish for both "You go look for it yourself", as well as "Eti (being) themselves".)
I don't know if this is a pun or a retort; it ain't a joke, though.
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#151 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 10 Dec, 2022 22:52
-
-
#152 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:01
-
Q: Why was the battery crying?
A: Because it was feeling drained, run down and exhausted.
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#153 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:02
-
Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing, coughing and went to the Doctors?
A: Because it had a virus.
N.B. I've used some assistance, with some of these posts, today.
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#154 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:03
-
Q: Why do programmers, get mixed up between Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
-
#155 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:04
-
Q: What did the Electronics Engineer, say when his manager, approved of his new circuit, without any resistance to it?
A: Ohm my gosh!
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#156 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:05
-
Q: What did the bulb say to the smart and nice looking light switch?
A: You turn me on.
-
#157 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:39
-
Q: Why do atoms lie all the time?
A: Because they make up everything!
-
#158 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:46
-
-
#159 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 11 Dec, 2022 07:47
-
Q: When sitting at a computer in winter, how can you make the room warmer?
A: Close all open windows.
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#160 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 11 Dec, 2022 08:07
-
Q: When sitting at a computer in winter, how can you make the room warmer?
A: Close all open windows.
Opposite is true for my dinosaur of a rig.
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#161 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 12 Dec, 2022 22:26
-
I once had a HP DL380 G5 before I moved and that took care of my heating arrangements where the window acted as an adjustable valve to let the heat out.
Q: What would be the cowboy's preferred choice of network cable?
A: CCA
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#162 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 13 Dec, 2022 00:32
-
I once had a HP DL380 G5 before I moved and that took care of my heating arrangements where the window acted as an adjustable valve to let the heat out.
Q: What would be the cowboy's preferred choice of network cable?
A: CCA
I had a early core i7 with the stock cooler and a really terrible atx psu beside my feet. I noticed the difference one winter after I put the big noctua cooler on and a silent psu. No warm direct air flow anymore.
Was quiet tho.
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#163 Reply
Posted by
Berni
on 13 Dec, 2022 06:11
-
This year Nvidia is making sure we are not going to be cold for the winter with there 4000 series GPUs pulling 600W TDP. Some of them even catch fire at the connector.
-
#164 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 13 Dec, 2022 06:45
-
This year Nvidia is making sure we are not going to be cold for the winter with there 4000 series GPUs pulling 600W TDP. Some of them even catch fire at the connector.
Why burn a CD when you can burn the whole computer?
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#165 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 17 Dec, 2022 22:40
-
Q: What happened to the Berlin AquaDom aquarium?
A: It took a downward spiral.
-
#166 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 18 Dec, 2022 08:02
-
Oh deer!
-
-
It's the season to be choppy, lalalala lala la la
-
#168 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 20 Dec, 2022 16:42
-
Q: What do you say when someone asks you a computational electrostatics problem but you're too impatient to reply?
A: Ask your MoM.
-
-
Oh deer!
Especially since the chopped up animal is a moose, not a deer. It's the antlers. All deer have spiky antlers, whereas moose have more spade- or spork-like antlers.
It also looks like Santa had to do three passes, to get all three blades of the windmill damaged.
I wonder what kind of sick and twisted moose-Santa murder-suicide pact this image depicts, considering moose don't fly. Were Rudolph and the other reindeer fed up with Santa's Christmas shenanigans –– working the poor reindeer nearly endlessly in some kind of anomalous time loop, with probably no treats at all –– and framed the scene as an accident?
Then again, reindeer have approximately the same brain capacity as frogs, so maybe not.
Then again again, there does seem to be one left behind on the background, to make sure the plot goes as planned. Maybe the flying magic also increased their brain capacity?
Certainly intriguing scene.
-
-
Especially since the chopped up animal is a moose, not a deer. It's the antlers. All deer have spiky antlers, whereas moose have more spade- or spork-like antlers.
That is the first thing my wife was on about. It's a moose, and she did not get the joke behind it until she looked a bit longer and noticed Santa in the background
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#171 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 23 Dec, 2022 04:34
-
Q: What do you say when lab technicians did a conducted electromagnetic interference test using an uncontrolled power supply and the results were all wrong?
A: They were not LISNing to the instructions.
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#172 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 23 Dec, 2022 04:49
-
Q: An electronics engineer, was sentenced to be executed. The King, said "let's be lenient and let them choose their cause of death". The executioners, said "No way, an electronics engineer, may outsmart us here". So the King said "I'm KING, Electronics Engineer, by what method, do you want to die by?"
A: Electronics engineer replied, "old age"
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#173 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 23 Dec, 2022 10:41
-
Q: What is it when there are large queues at the car park and at the supermarket door and the entrance suddenly becomes overwhelmed.
A: Too much inrush current.
Q: Where did the gnomes go?
A: They gone home
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#174 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 25 Dec, 2022 10:58
-
-
#175 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 26 Dec, 2022 21:24
-
Q: Which semiconductor company's chips require many PCB layers to use?
A: VIA Technologies.
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#176 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 28 Dec, 2022 01:01
-
Q: Is it true, around 8 in 10 people, of the general population, don't understand how percentages work?
A: Yes, so around 175% of the general population don't understand percentages.
Q: Is it true that you have to understand mathematics, to become an electronics or software engineer?
A: Yes. That is why there are three types of people in this world, those that can count (and may become engineers), and those that can't count.
-
-
These jokes are all terrible!!
So here is another one:
Q: What is the name of a broken transistor?
A: Transwasstor.
-
-
Q: Why an EE from Spain is browsing for the 28th of December in the calendar?
A: He's looking up a cross reference for the April's fool day.
Q: Why a photodiode doesn't like fat food?
A: prefers to get light.
Q: Why feminists are causing the microchips shortage?
A: Because of the purple plague.
Q: Why a broken screen is lying horizontally on the table while holding some dishes and glasses over it?
A: Because it was OLED as tray.
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#179 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 28 Dec, 2022 03:27
-
Q: What is the difference, between a novice golf player, getting a hole in one, and one of the best multimeters, you can get?
A: None, they are both Flukes.
-
#180 Reply
Posted by
Zeyneb
on 28 Dec, 2022 03:52
-
Q: How to get a firm grasp of the concept of Bad?
A: EEVBLOG - Bad Electronics Jokes
-
-
Q: How do wise old plasmons teach eager new excitation modes?
A: Electron, electroff.
(I didn't know there was a level beyond dad jokes, btw.)
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#182 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 28 Dec, 2022 10:35
-
Q: Why won't the noise cancelling headphones work produce sound?
A: Because it is noise cancelling.
-
-
Q: How to get a firm grasp of the concept of Bad?
A: EEVBLOG - Bad Electronics Jokes
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#184 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 28 Dec, 2022 11:19
-
Q: What do cats become attuned to?
A: Tuna
I remember this one I liked of the paperclip 20 years ago which I just found again see attachment.
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#185 Reply
Posted by
Vincent
on 29 Dec, 2022 04:15
-
Improvised joke FTW:
It's the story of that guy who kept throwing alkaline cells at people. He's been charged with battery.
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#186 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 29 Dec, 2022 04:19
-
Improvised joke FTW:
It's the story of that guy who kept throwing alkaline cells at people. He's been charged with battery.
The victims involved saw both positives and negatives.
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#187 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 29 Dec, 2022 05:37
-
I like the charged joke and thought of this one:
Q: What is it when you are charged with battery?
A: You charged at them.
Q: What is Costa missing after the name where you work out the rest?
A: Costa fortune
(Costa coffee where you work out the rest for the expensive coffee.)
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#188 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 10 Jan, 2023 18:15
-
Q: What do you say when a power supply has the lowest noise in the industry but there are production difficulties?
A: It has a high Power Supply Rejection Ratio.
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#189 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 10 Jan, 2023 18:32
-
Q: What's the most common, mental illness, amongst transistors?
A: Bipolar disorder
Q: What's the favorite game played by transistors?
A: Base ball
Q: Which transistor, has Schizophrenia, and thinks it is a diode?
A: Any made by Diodes inc
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#190 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 11 Jan, 2023 14:44
-
Q: What is that pc game over 20 years ago that hints in the title about putting spears in people's heads.
A: Medal of Honor: Allied Assault: Spearhead
Q: What can a patient with alzheimer's try and do to help remember things?
A: Page file.
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#191 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 11 Jan, 2023 21:42
-
Q: What do you call a large public event for RF/microwave engineers?
A: A "field" day.
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#192 Reply
Posted by
Vincent
on 19 Jan, 2023 03:48
-
Anybody know a place still selling Nuvistors? I need to change some of my Oldvistors...
-
-
Q: Where did the LED lead the lead leads?
A: Cûk if I know.
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#194 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 20 Jan, 2023 03:18
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#195 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 20 Jan, 2023 07:16
-
Q: A young student asks how can a CPU be built from individual transistors, what did the computer technician answer?
A: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
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#196 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 29 Jan, 2023 03:55
-
Q: What do you say when a newbie tries to simulate electromagnetic waves, but they keep bouncing around at the edge of the model?
A: The solution is as easy as ABC.
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#197 Reply
Posted by
NiHaoMike
on 29 Jan, 2023 04:39
-
Q: What's the most common, mental illness, amongst transistors?
A: Bipolar disorder
Going bipolar is indeed a common cause of suicide for CMOS chips.
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#198 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 29 Jan, 2023 17:36
-
Q: What do you do to a noisy kid?
A: You ground them.
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#199 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 29 Jan, 2023 20:10
-
Q: What do you do to a noisy kid?
A: You ground them.
Or if very noisy, earth them!
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#200 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 31 Jan, 2023 03:43
-
Q: Why can't noisy low flying jets and planes be grounded?
And yobs and noisy out of control pubs and nightclubs?
A: They're not down to earth.
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#201 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 15 Feb, 2023 03:58
-
Q: Why would anybody want a "smart" thing.
A: Because they are downright stupid and can't think for themselves on what they want that they need something to decide for them.
(According to the manufacturer)
-
-
Q: Why would anybody want a "smart" thing? Why do companies insist of adding "smart" everywhere?
A:
S&M. People pay a lot for that.
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#203 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 15 Feb, 2023 05:48
-
Q: What is the best thing that can happen to a flat earther?
A: Them lying in a grave in the ground to keep them flat.
-
-
Q: What is the best thing that can happen to a flat earther?
A: Them lying in a grave in the ground to keep them flat.
Don't forget: The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.
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#205 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 15 Feb, 2023 07:03
-
If pizza's are flat I wonder what flat earthers will have to say about the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
-
-
(All jokes aside, it's not silly beliefs per se that are so annoying, it is the
truthiness of their conviction.)
Q: Why are charge carriers never out of date?
A: They're always current.
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#207 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 15 Feb, 2023 14:42
-
Q: What don't flat eathers get?
A: The whole picture.
(of the globe)
Q: What did the manager do before changing the firmware?
A: Fired the firm.
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#208 Reply
Posted by
TomKatt
on 15 Feb, 2023 15:03
-
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#209 Reply
Posted by
armandine2
on 16 Feb, 2023 15:54
-
and intellectual property sorted
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#210 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 17 Feb, 2023 05:36
-
Q: What happens when someone is in debt?
A: They send out the poltergeists to reposes their home and change the locks. After that they send out the practitioner to find out what this demon wants and how to pay back the debt owed to it.
Q: Why are resistors safe near trannies?
A: They resist their advances.
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#211 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 18 Feb, 2023 21:47
-
Q: What happens to bridges now and again?
A: They get rectified.
(Bridges for vehicles.)
-
-
Q? What does the full time employee do when the work hours come to end?
A: He goes home with his wife.
Q? What does the CEO do then after the work day?
A: He calls his wife by phone, tells her that he'll be delayed because of ending work, then goes to spend the night with his paramour.
Q? What does the EE do when everybody in facility have gone?
A: He calls his paramour for telling her that he'll spend the night with his wife. After that he phones wife and tells her that night is gaming night with friends. So then he can stay in the lab for testing the new version of his project.
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#213 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 27 Feb, 2023 04:39
-
Q: In the audiofoolery industry what is suggested that directional audio cables have in them?
A: Diodes
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#214 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 10 Mar, 2023 18:29
-
Q: How does an RF engineer find the input impedance of an amplifier?
A: Taking a moment of reflection.
Q: How does a power electronics engineer solve a MOSFET switching transient problem due to long cables?
A: Through inductive reasoning.
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#215 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 Mar, 2023 03:30
-
Q: Why did the authorities arrest an RF engineer?
A: For violating Kirchhoff's laws.
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#216 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 Mar, 2023 03:36
-
Q: What does Stephen Wolfram do to ensure high code quality in Mathematica?
A: Continuous Integration.
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#217 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 Mar, 2023 04:26
-
Q: What do you call a supercomputer simulation of an atomic bomb's detonation?
A: A nuclear BLASt.
-
-
Q: What do you call a transistor rummaging through your garbage?
A: Common collector.
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#219 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 15 Mar, 2023 10:15
-
Q: If a small hobby railway model train bridge is broken and you patch it up with spare through hole diodes, what is it called?
A: A bridge rectifier
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#220 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 Mar, 2023 11:40
-
Q: What do you call a bad CD album full of hums and noise?
A: EMI Records.
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#221 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 15 Mar, 2023 13:17
-
Joke: niconiconi, don't forget heavy metal too, you know where they yell and scream down the microphone and make a lot of horrid noises in the background.
Q: Why do you have to be careful with Electroboom?
A: He is a dead short.
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#222 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 20 Mar, 2023 04:23
-
Q: What do you say when the impedance of a line becomes lower than expected when there's an anti-phase signal nearby?
A: That's odd.
-
-
Q? What does the EE do when everybody in facility have gone?
A: He calls his paramour for telling her that he'll spend the night with his wife. After that he phones wife and tells her that night is gaming night with friends. So then he can stay in the lab for testing the new version of his project.
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#224 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 16 Apr, 2023 04:50
-
Q: Do you like scary things such as scare ware?
A: Well I'll send you a copy of Winfixer.
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#225 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 16 Apr, 2023 05:36
-
Q: What's wrong with cashless electronic shopping tills or parking meter systems, that rely on your mobile phone, as the only way to pay?
A: Nothing.
That can't be fixed by injecting, 10,000,000,000 volts into it, at mega high currents, to send that equipment, where it deserves. Cash and credit cards etc, if it ain't broke, why fix it.
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#226 Reply
Posted by
DC1MC
on 16 Apr, 2023 06:35
-
In this situation I will try one as well:
Q: How do open an electronic lock when the encryption fails ?
A: You talk to it, communication is the key.
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#227 Reply
Posted by
strawberry
on 16 Apr, 2023 11:07
-
why A class amplifiers are so popular? because they are hot.
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#228 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 19 Apr, 2023 00:28
-
Q: How do open an electronic lock when the encryption fails ?
A: You talk to it, communication is the key.
If you can't
talk to it there is another option too and its called
torque... when you are trying to smash or claw it open.
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#229 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 25 May, 2023 17:45
-
Q: What do you call a logic chip with extremely short signal rise time?
A: It's leading-edge technology.
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#230 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 25 May, 2023 18:10
-
Q: What do you call a logic chip with extremely sharp signals?
A: Bleeding-edge technology.
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#231 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 26 May, 2023 14:25
-
Here are some more, generated using ChatGPT.
Q: What did the digital clock say to its mother?
A: "Look, Ma! No hands!"
Q: Why was the math book always unhappy?
A: It had too many problems, and they just kept multiplying
Q: Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
A: Because the light attracts bugs!
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays!
Q: What did the Wi-Fi router say to the modem?
A: "Don't worry, I got this connection under CTRL!"
Q: How did the web developer hurt their back?
A: They strained it while carrying all their cache!
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?
A: It had Bluetooth!
Q: What's a computer's favorite kind of music?
A: Disk-o!
Q: What do you call a computer superhero?
A: CAPES (Computerized Algorithmic Protector of Electronic Systems)!
Q: What do you call a resistor with no resistance?
A: Useless!
Q: How do transistors communicate?
A: They use their transistor radios!
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#232 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 26 May, 2023 23:01
-
Q: An SDRAM, SSD, CPU and Tesla Coil, were arguing amongst themselves, as to which was the most powerful. The SDRAM said it could store information and give very quick access to it. The SSD said, no, no, I can store way, way more information than that. The CPU said, it doesn't matter, as I can calculate massive amounts of information, on the fly.
A: The Tesla Coil said nothing, then built up 10 million volts and zapped the other components, into a vapour cloud, then said "I win".
-
-
Because of my lasy eye, I have coherent vision.
-
-
Q: Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
A: Because the light attracts bugs!
Good one. It may even be the true reason.
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#235 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 24 Jun, 2023 22:20
-
Q: Before University, you couldn't even spell physicist, so now you've graduated, how are things?
A: Great, now I is a physicist.
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#236 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 25 Jun, 2023 08:26
-
Joke removed.
Sorry about that for making the joke.
I am obviously lacking in judgement and good taste.
-
-
the Titan’s single porthole was only certified to withstand the pressure at 1,300 metres and that OceanGate “refused to pay” for a porthole certified to 4,000 metres.
Well, the Titanic is only at 3800 metres, where the pressure is only 370 bar, which is just a little more than the 130 bar at 1300 metres, right? Right? Oh. Oopsie!
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#238 Reply
Posted by
ebastler
on 25 Jun, 2023 11:29
-
Here are some more, generated using ChatGPT.
[...]
Q: Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
A: Because the light attracts bugs!
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn't get arrays!
[...]
I am kind of reassured that Google finds these jokes on web pages dating from 2017 or 2019, i.e. predating ChatGPT. So ChatGPT did not make these up, but learned them during its web-crawling training.
If ChatGPT had come up with these jokes on its own, I would be quite impressed but also slightly scared. Both require lateral thinking, and the second one also the association of words by sound which are spelled very differently. Not a feat I would expect an AI to be good at so far.
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#239 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 25 Jun, 2023 23:04
-
I am kind of reassured that Google finds these jokes on web pages dating from 2017 or 2019, i.e. predating ChatGPT. So ChatGPT did not make these up, but learned them during its web-crawling training.
If ChatGPT had come up with these jokes on its own, I would be quite impressed but also slightly scared. Both require lateral thinking, and the second one also the association of words by sound which are spelled very differently. Not a feat I would expect an AI to be good at so far.
Well here is my attempt at getting ChatGPT to make genuine (i.e. NOT already existing) jokes, where ChatGPT is the real author. I used words and your 'name' from that post, to try and make it a genuine challenge.
ChatGPT Prompt:
Please write 5 really funny jokes in the format Q; followed by A:, each of which must include the following words or subjects. ebastler, Germany and Google.
ChatGPT Results:
Q: Why did the e-bike enthusiast become an ebastler?
A: Because he couldn't resist the urge to "german-ify" his Google search for bike upgrades!
Q: How does a German programmer's Google search for jokes begin?
A: "Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Java." "Java who?" "Just kidding, let's Google some puns!"
Q: Why did the German student bring a laptop to the Google headquarters?
A: Because he wanted to show off his "Deutschmark" skills while searching for the secret to Google's success!
Q: What do you call a German comedian who loves using Google Translate in their act?
A: The ultimate "wordplayebastler" who knows how to make audiences laugh in any language!
Q: Why did the German chef refuse to use Google Maps while driving?
A: He said, "I'd rather take my chances getting lost than rely on technology that can't even pronounce 'Sauerkraut' correctly!"
Then I twisted things around, with a continuation of same thing, my updated second prompt:
Please repeat, but instead make 10 such jokes, using the words, MK14, UK and Bing.
ChatGPT's Second response (technically it was later than that, as I made a mistake, earlier):
Q: Why did the MK14 computer enroll in a UK comedy class?
A: It wanted to learn how to program the perfect punchline without relying on Bing for jokes!
Q: How does an MK14 computer search for its favorite UK rock band online?
A: It says, "Hey Bing, show me the 'byte'stones of British music!"
Q: Why did the MK14 computer choose to learn the British accent?
A: It wanted to sound more refined when it inevitably challenged Bing to a game of "Guess the Word with a Posher Pronunciation"!
Q: How does an MK14 computer react when it finds a hilarious British meme online?
A: It emits a series of beeps and boops, equivalent to a computer laughing uproariously, while secretly thanking the UK for its wit!
Q: Why did the MK14 computer become a fan of British detective shows?
A: It wanted to sharpen its deductive skills to solve the mystery of why people still use Bing for search queries!
Q: How does an MK14 computer explore the diverse cuisines of the UK?
A: It navigates through the digital realm, searching for Bing-approved recipes, all while dreaming of a perfectly timed fish and chips delivery!
Q: What did the MK14 computer say when asked about its preferred search engine?
A: "I may be an MK14, but I'm all about that UK charm—Bing, mate!"
Q: How does an MK14 computer plan a trip across the UK?
A: It meticulously calculates the shortest route between famous landmarks while secretly wondering if Bing will finally understand its British humor!
Q: What did the MK14 computer say to Bing when it couldn't find a satisfactory answer?
A: "Come on, Bing, put the 'UK' in 'seek'!"
Q: Why did the MK14 computer refuse to use Bing Maps for navigation?
A: It said, "I'd rather rely on my trusty algorithm and the occasional polite directions from passersby—I'm all about that authentic UK experience!"
Final try, Prompt:
Please repeat, but make the jokes, incredibly funny and excellent, this time, also instead make 10 such jokes, using the words, NotAFluke, Multimeter, Spain, Rain and EEVblog.
ChatGPT's Response:
Q: Why did the NotAFluke multimeter go on vacation to Spain?
A: It wanted to measure the "amplitude" of the flamenco dancers while dodging raindrops in style!
Q: How does a NotAFluke multimeter react when it encounters rain?
A: It exclaims, "Ohm my goodness! I better take cover before my circuits get all wet and my measurements go off the charts!"
Q: Why did the EEVblog host challenge a NotAFluke multimeter to a dance-off?
A: They wanted to see if the multimeter's "accuracy" extended to its groovy moves on the dance floor!
Q: What did the NotAFluke multimeter say to its friend during a heavy rainstorm?
A: "I guess you could say this weather is 'current'-ly making quite a splash!"
Q: Why did the NotAFluke multimeter become a celebrity in Spain?
A: Its precision in measuring the exact amount of rainfall made it the most sought-after weather forecaster on Spanish TV!
Q: How does a NotAFluke multimeter measure its love for Spain?
A: In "ohms" of admiration for the country's rich culture, beautiful landscapes, and, of course, the occasional rain shower!
Q: What did the NotAFluke multimeter say after attending a flamenco show in Spain?
A: "That was electrifying! The rhythm, the passion, the precise footwork—I'm positively charged with awe!"
Q: Why did the EEVblog host invite a NotAFluke multimeter to join their podcast episode about weather phenomena?
A: They knew the multimeter's knack for accurate measurements would make the discussion on rain absolutely "shocking"!
Q: How does a NotAFluke multimeter contribute to rain research in Spain?
A: By meticulously tracking the electrical properties of raindrops and ensuring the accuracy of weather data, it's a true "measuring maverick"!
Q: What did the NotAFluke multimeter say to its Spanish friend who was worried about the rain ruining their plans?
A: "Don't fret! With my precision and your knowledge of Spain, we'll 'volt'-age through any rainstorm and still have a great time!"
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#240 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 28 Jun, 2023 15:00
-
Joke removed.
Sorry about that for making the joke.
I am obviously lacking in judgement and good taste.
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#241 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 28 Jun, 2023 15:19
-
Q: Who in this thread, is making the most inappropriate jokes, where sadly, people lost their lives?
A: MK14, because even worse than that is to copy huge amounts of ChatGPT stuff, into this thread.
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#242 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 28 Jun, 2023 16:09
-
Q: If soldering up circuits, with things like wires, capacitors and resistors. Which circuit is the quickest to solder up?
A: An open circuit
-
-
the Titan’s single porthole was only certified to withstand the pressure at 1,300 metres and that OceanGate “refused to pay” for a porthole certified to 4,000 metres.
Well, the Titanic is only at 3800 metres, where the pressure is only 370 bar, which is just a little more than the 130 bar at 1300 metres, right? Right? Oh. Oopsie!
1300 m ought to be enough for anybody.
-
#244 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 29 Jun, 2023 01:20
-
the Titan’s single porthole was only certified to withstand the pressure at 1,300 metres and that OceanGate “refused to pay” for a porthole certified to 4,000 metres.
They were willing to pay for a
potty onboard near to the porthole but discouraged the passengers from using it advising them to restrict their diet before the trip.
Q: What could jump off the pcb when it is subjected to vibration tests.
A: Jumpers.
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#245 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 Sep, 2023 17:22
-
Q: What would happen when an engineering professor teaches bad designs in a lecture on power supply units?
A: High drop-out.
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#246 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 27 Sep, 2023 17:51
-
Q: What did the investigators find after a software failure caused a self-driving car accident?
A: A crashed driver.
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#247 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 27 Sep, 2023 18:49
-
Q: Where do Bridge Rectifiers, keep all their cash?
A: In Big Capacitor Banks.
Q: How many batteries does it take, to make a cow?
A: None, as they can only be used to make (battery) hens.
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#248 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 07 Nov, 2023 22:52
-
Q: What do you say when you need to do metrology-grade RF power measurements but there's only a crude industrial-grade meter in the lab?
A: It's for the Birds.
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#249 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 13 Nov, 2023 19:27
-
Q: Why don't cheap low-end microcontrollers support a flat memory address space?
A: Market segmentation.
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#250 Reply
Posted by
eutectique
on 16 Nov, 2023 22:43
-
‒ Do you have four-volt two-watt light bulbs?
‒ For what?
‒ No, two.
‒ To what?
‒ Yes.
‒ No.
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#251 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 29 Nov, 2023 23:23
-
From a discussion in the Eevblog IRC about an overload relay for a contactor.
Q: Why wasn't one wired in to the HS2 project.
A: <coppice> HS2 = High Spending 2, the sequel
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#252 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 12 Dec, 2023 19:29
-
Q: What do you say when Hammerstad & Jensen's microstrip formula underestimates signal losses due to surface roughness at high frequencies?
A: "It's only a rough approximation."
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#253 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 14 Dec, 2023 21:59
-
Q: Why does a Web-browsing PC eventually arc over and blow up in an electrical breakdown after a few years?
A: Too much tracking.
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#254 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 Dec, 2023 18:55
-
Q: What do you call a technical expert on circuit board gold plating?
A: ENIGneer
Q: Why does a circuit board factory make bare copper boards without tin plating?
A: It's too much of a HASL.
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#255 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 28 Dec, 2023 00:04
-
A: What when they try to sell you Meanwell power supply knock off's?
A: They don't Mean well.
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#256 Reply
Posted by
MrMobodies
on 06 Feb, 2024 23:41
-
Q:What happened to a Chinese group at St Pancras station when Christina Lee Turned up?
A: She controlled them at a firmware level.
Proprietary to the CCP.
Joke in reference to a clash between a pianist, Brendan Kavanagh and the Chinese over a piano John Elton donated to St Prancras tube station in London.
It was pointed out in some followup videos that when Christine Lee turned up the group went from being very nice and friendly to very aggressive and nasty when Brendan refused to removed/edit them from his livestream saying it was public space in a free country and it isn't not China etc.
youtube.com/watch?v=65iwnI2hjAA
Removed https:// as I don't want video to auto play here.
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#257 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 25 Feb, 2024 10:44
-
Q: What do you say when electronics engineers apply Laplace transform so they can do algebra instead of calculus?
A: It's a heavy side-step.
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#258 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 26 Feb, 2024 09:58
-
"If a power supply filter has a high quality factor, it means the filter is of low quality."
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#259 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 15 Mar, 2024 08:27
-
Q: Why is it easier to measure a circuit in time domain?
A: It's not complex and there's only one step.
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#260 Reply
Posted by
niconiconi
on 01 Apr, 2024 08:39
-
Q: What's the difference between an authentic Li-ion battery and a counterfeit one?
A: For the former, the battery gets charged. For the latter, the seller gets charged.
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#261 Reply
Posted by
NiHaoMike
on 02 Apr, 2024 03:12
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"If a power supply filter has a high quality factor, it means the filter is of low quality."
Had that problem a few times at work, needed a choke in series with the power supply to reduce the measurement noise, all they had were good quality toroids. My fix was to put a piece of scrap wire through the toroid and twist the ends together to make a shorted turn...
Q: What's the difference between an authentic Li-ion battery and a counterfeit one?
A: For the former, the battery gets charged. For the latter, the seller gets charged.
If only that's how it worked, most counterfeit sellers just operate from countries that don't enforce it well.
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#262 Reply
Posted by
MK14
on 28 Apr, 2024 02:12
-
Q: Does anyone want a pile of dead batteries, I've accumulated?
A: If you do, you can have them, free of charge
-
-
No thanks, I've got enough trouble with my own piles.