Thanks for all the suggestions.
Here is the dilemma i am trying to solve :
i build a product , put it in the field and at some point a software update is made. I can not expect the user of the product to have a programming cable, chunk of hardware or the skills to perform brain surgery.
I want the ability to give the user a file and point him to a software tool ( something i do not have to make, maintain or support ) to load that file onto the processor over a common USB port ( either through the baked-in USB , or a usb to uart that i have put in the product. )
It's already bad enough that there invariably will be questions like "i am using operating systems xyz and there is no tool for that"
For example the RP2040 and 2350 emulate a mass storage device. simply drag the firmware file and magic happens.
Where are the other processors that have a DFU baked in by their maker ? Mass storage class, CDC class or through a UART.
Something that does not need drivers , has the loader available for Windows XP,7,8,9,10,11 , MacOs -x (any flavor) , linux (an even bigger can of worms and verions) ,and most importantly does not need ANY ACTION ON MY PART to get it on the processor or maintain it.
I may have to bite the bullet and switch to a 3.3 volt processor. i'll have to do everything over I2C and use I/O expanders . I want to avoid level shifters as much as possible. they are also a headache. There's only like 6 signals that would need level shifters as they are interrupt inputs to the processor.
I have a drawer full of dongles and boards , each requiring their own software and driver to program and debug various processors. some of them cost a lot of money and their makers are no longer existing or don't support them anymore.
Every couple of years there is a new "picKit" or other tool that goes out of support and you need to buy a new one if you want to use a newer processor or the newer development tool.
it is annoying and a waste of time and money.
So i want to switch to a processor that doesn't need all that stuff.
Again , it is the problem after development of supplying the end user with firmware updates that does not require them to open the device, buy a extra piece of hardware , muck with drivers and software and becomes a support headache.
It also solves the problem on my end of requiring the same tools or a programming service to load the initial DFU code .