Checked the fuse bytes on the datsheet - set for external oscillator 0.8-3.0MHz - probably fine for 4MHz - but one this is set, it requires an external clock to program it. So if you have this chip in a socket, with a crystal osc, but remove it from circuit and plug it into a programmer that doesn't supply a clock to its clock IN pin (pin 2 I think) and it won't respond.
So once those fuses are set, you're stuck with the conditions those fuses put the chip in for progrmaming. As mentioned, if you accidently disable the external reset or the "SPIEN" fuse, that disables serial programming so you have to use a HV programmer. But the fuse bytes you provided do neither of those. They do however change the default "internal osc" to external Xtal driver - so the cihp needs to be clocked to write/read to/from the flash.
It's been a couple of decades since I've used any of the Attiny series, and I remember this being somewhat annoying.
Edit: just remembered - the fuse settings also enable CKDIV8 - divide external clock by 8. I *think* (its been 20 years!) that means the serial programming clock must be at least 1/8 of the external clock. That is, if you provide say 4MHz to pin 2 during programming, the serial clock can't be greater than 500kHz. Its a small device with not that much memory so just run the serial clock at its lowest speed - 125kHz is nice and relaible, and hopefully your programmer can also supply an external clock.