And the point seems to be (in general, not you in particular) that abuse of a rule is more worrying and important than abuse of persons.
Point taken, but not agreed.
The radio ham community has had an informal CoC since, brace for it, 1928.
In 2008 it was formalized and adopted more officially.
It does not look like we are on an impending catastrophe for that.
I'm actually coming from the complete OPPOSITE point of view. Let me explain.
A rather long time ago, perhaps 5 to 15 years ago, there was a fairly big open source project (which I don't want to name, for reasons), which I wanted to get changed (improved).
I researched it, and it was almost certain, that their (the people who run that free, open source project), had (if I'd said which project, I'd feel bad, saying these things about it, publicly) very significant attitude issues (such as being extremely pedantic/arrogant/unfriendly/elitist etc). By looking through the past historical (things like the official mailing list (if applicable) and/or forums and/or other internet accessible things).
I discovered that there was ZERO chance they would even vaguely consider my idea(s).
So, at the time, I was very disappointed (although I didn't even try, others had, with essential identical or near identical ideas), and the answer was always a big fat "NO!".
So, now, some 5 to 15 years later, the project is still missing these features.
There are/were alternatives, actually quite a few. Ironically one of those alternatives, actually implements essentially identical idea(s), that I (and others), wanted that project to implement. But in general the alternatives, are significantly worse, than the main project leader (I'm talking about), for this software type/functionality.
So in effect, I wanted that project, 5 to 15 years ago, to have a nice friendly CoC, then I and others, could have, hopefully got our various 'improvements' put into the project.
But, now, perhaps 10 years later, I'm older, wiser, have more (or different) experience, and actually realize that the changes we proposed, were actually a terrible idea, and would have harmed the project.
Because it turns out, if they had put those ideas/changes into the software project, it would have ended up breaking lots of things, in extremely big and bad ways, which at the time, many years ago, I had not even slightly appreciated.
So I'm now actually pleased they ignored a lot of people, as it has helped save the project and perhaps kept it going.
On the other hand. I do criticize them, for not at least using their vast experience and knowledge, to reasonably carefully explain to lesser mortals. The technical reasons, on why the various proposed changes, were NOT really possible/practicable, because of what are essential compatibility issues.
Changing things, so that the 'modernisation' could take place, would have been an almost impossible nightmare. Because it would have stopped perhaps thousands (yes, I really mean 1,000's), of other open source projects. Because they depended on it NOT changing the way and syntax etc, of how it works.
Each of those thousands of other projects, could have taken perhaps 6 months of very hard work, to implement the necessary changes. Hence the almost impossible nightmare to change things.
Worse still, they could only officially change things for their own (big, or super big), project. The other thousands of projects which depended on the project (I'm refusing to name), were potentially out of their control, and they would only be able to suggest changes to the original authors, which may or may not, be implemented, sometime.
So in summary. An enforced CoC, especially in my real-life example, but I suspect there are a huge number of projects in a similar boat. May not really be a good thing.
Edit: Warning, possible slight/partial factual errors. The GIST of the text is right. But I'm still NOT a big expert on the aforementioned open source project, so some of the details may be incorrect. The overall concept to still ok, I think.