I don't get what problem you are seeing. The sealed high current 10A relays are dead, open contacts? Heaters are an inductive load.
I've only seen failed contacts due to arcing with consequential metal vaporizing, commonplace in appliance relays. You can see the soot where the metal condenses on the inside plastic housing.
Otherwise, there's a passivation layer on the contacts that can be rubbed off by operating the relay many times or passing sufficient wetting current through them, say a few hundred mA. Never seen a relay fail due to slime on the contacts with a decent load unless the coil was under-volted.
I have had problems with brand new sealed "low signal"? relays failing after reflow,
Omron G6K-2F-DC5 and apparently it can happen due to off-gassing. The contacts react with the gas evolved from something inside the sealed relay (epoxy?) during reflow.
For the variac, the carbon is under higher force, lower current density, wipes off with every turn, and doesn't form an insulator when it has oxidized.