She was only the electronic engineers daughter but no one could resistor.
On a recent video recommendation by youtube...
Q: How many amp techs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one -- he begins at the front door and replaces every bulb in the building until he gets the one that is out.
Q: "What goal do you have?"
A: "Knocking-off time."
Q: "And on the long run?"
A: "Weekend."
Three engineers from America, Germany, and Japan are playing golf. They hear ringing. The Japanese engineer says "excuse me, I'm getting a call", extends his little finger and thumb, holding his hand to his face, and proceeds to carry on a conversation. He finishes, and explains that he was using his company's latest prototype, a phone built in to his hand. The others were impressed. Later, they hear ringing again. the German says "excuse me, I'm getting a call", taps the side of his head, and has a short conversation. When done, he explained he was using the latest in German technology: a phone built in to his head. The others were impressed. Later, the American says "excuse me...", walks to the bushes, drops his pants, squats, and explains, "I'm getting a fax!".
this is what you look like when you see test equipment
A police officer stops a car. Behind the steering wheel sits Heisenberg.
Officer: "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I do know exactly where I am."
Erwin Schrödinger is seeing the veterinary surgeon.
Says the vet: "Regarding your cat: I have good news and bad news ..."
I just saw this one in Jack Ganssle's newsletter.
From Tom Razov:
A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.
If architects designed buildings like software engineers designed programs, than the first woodpecker that came along would destroy all civilization.
"Tinning, soldering, computer repair!"
"We invited a hypnotist to debug a computer".
"Look at him! Going to DIY club instead of music school!"
From an article about network security analysis of an internet connected pet feeder device:
The 'S' in 'IoT' stands for Security.
From an article about network security analysis of an internet connected pet feeder device:
The 'S' in 'IoT' stands for Security.
The "S" in "HTTP" stands for Security. Guess why "HTTPS" was invented. Should we invent "IoTS"?
No because the S would stand for shit then
Ok, this is lame... but the majority of MY jokes would otherwise be banned here!....
Irishman on a building site. Asked by his boss to measure the height of a long pole leaning
up against a wall. Johno says to Paddy... "Lay it down on the ground, then measure it!!"...
Paddy says... "Don't be stupid!, he wants the height not the width!!"
Then 'Paddy' went to his boss, complaining about the wheelbarrow squeaking. Told the boss....
"When I wheel it, it goes... Squeak...........Squeak.............Squeak............."
The boss told him he was Sacked!! When he asked why, the boss told him....
"When 'I' wheel it, it goes... Squeak,Squeak,Squeak,Squeak"
Ok, this is lame... but the majority of MY jokes would otherwise be banned here!....
Irishman on a building site. Asked by his boss to measure the height of a long pole leaning
up against a wall. Johno says to Paddy... "Lay it down on the ground, then measure it!!"...
Paddy says... "Don't be stupid!, he wants the height not the width!!"
Then 'Paddy' went to his boss, complaining about the wheelbarrow squeaking. Told the boss....
"When I wheel it, it goes... Squeak...........Squeak.............Squeak............."
The boss told him he was Sacked!! When he asked why, the boss told him....
"When 'I' wheel it, it goes... Squeak,Squeak,Squeak,Squeak"
Both of them have exactly the same equivalent in Portuguese, it's basically a translation word by word.
I really don't have anything against the Irish!! (I was once one!).
Can't help sharing this one too though... (not sure about the 'engineering' aspect...)
Paddy is holidaying in London, and keen to get home he phones the airport...
Paddy: "Can ya be tellin' me when's the next floight to Dublin!!"
Operator: "Just a minute..."
Paddy: Immediately hangs up... "Jesus Chroist I better hurry, to catch Dat one!!!!"
Paddy is racing along the Motorway, and sees a sign... "Airport Left"....
So he turned around and went back to the Pub.
HEY, the Irish aren't ALL silly !!!... after all, it was an Irishman who
invented the Ejector Seat for a Helicopter !!
(Sorry...
)
HEY, the Irish aren't ALL silly !!!... after all, it was an Irishman who
invented the Ejector Seat for a Helicopter !!
(Sorry... )
Hey, those are a real thing - they do jettison the rotor blades first though.
