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#425 Reply
Posted by
BU508A
on 24 Jun, 2022 13:05
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This joke works probably in German only.
"Kannst du mir erklären, was ein Newtonmeter ist?"
"Ja, ein Moment."
"Ok, ich warte."
Translation via DeepL:
"Can you explain to me what a newton metre is?"
"Yes, a moment."
"Ok, I'm waiting."
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#426 Reply
Posted by
BU508A
on 01 Jul, 2022 11:52
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You're ok, the joke works fine in english.
The other one is:
Every couple has their moment, all they need's a little torque
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#428 Reply
Posted by
BU508A
on 03 Jul, 2022 19:00
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The Fibonacci convention is supposed to be pretty special this year.
They say it's going to be as big as the last two put together.
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#429 Reply
Posted by
tom66
on 05 Jul, 2022 22:22
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In the Soviet Union it wasn't uncommon to have long wait times for luxury items, like cars.
A man walks into the nearest car dealership and places his order for a brand-new Lada. The salesman reminds him, "Sir, that model has a five-year build time. Are you okay to wait?"
The man says, "sure - but would it be the morning or the afternoon?"
"Why do you care? It's five years away!"
"You see, the television repairman is visiting in the morning, so I was hoping it'd be in the afternoon..."
(Not quite an engineering joke, but I was reminded given the current chipageddon nonsense...)
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No personal attacks please
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A cartoon from 1984:
"There is no real intellectual work here, so we have gone wild". (The inscription on the door plate: "Research Institute of This and That")
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early days of cell phones.
Larry Ellison ,Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are in a meeting.
-Ring-Ring-.
Ellison say : excuse me , i have a call and starts talking to his watch while the other two sit silently. When done, Ellison says : that's the latest from ou hardware team : a cellphone in a watch.
The meeting goes on. -Ring- . Gates excuses himself taps his ear and starts talking. Afterwards he explains microsoft has been working on an earpiece cellphone receiver with the transmitter built in to the filling of a tooth.
Back too the meeting.
Jobs blows a fart. The others look startled. Job says , excuse me gentlemen, i have an incoming fax....
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working in a waferfab you deal with lots of chemicals. silicontetrachloride , isopropanol....
The new operators were easily fooled. You'd send them to the warehouse for a bottle of elektaminol.
Flemish translation : he licks my ass ...
That, or a pair of scissors to cut the wafers , or a tank of vacuum ..
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#434 Reply
Posted by
hugjior
on 25 Jul, 2022 20:23
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soon it will be exactly the same thing in actual russian federation
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soon it will be exactly the same thing in actual russian federation
and in the failed american empire too
When you live in a glass house, it is better not to throw rocks around. I have opinions on politics, and I don't like
people, but I do not have any ill will whatsoever to any group of humans just because their political or religious system is untenable in the long term. For the most part, I hope they find a more reasonable way forwards on their own, and reserve the harshest criticism for my own political system that I happen to be a part of.
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#436 Reply
Posted by
temperance
on 26 Jul, 2022 10:08
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early days of cell phones.
Larry Ellison ,Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are in a meeting.
-Ring-Ring-.
Ellison say : excuse me , i have a call and starts talking to his watch while the other two sit silently. When done, Ellison says : that's the latest from ou hardware team : a cellphone in a watch.
The meeting goes on. -Ring- . Gates excuses himself taps his ear and starts talking. Afterwards he explains microsoft has been working on an earpiece cellphone receiver with the transmitter built in to the filling of a tooth.
Back too the meeting.
Jobs blows a fart. The others look startled. Job says , excuse me gentlemen, i have an incoming fax....
We al ready had 3D printers in that time.
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#437 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 26 Jul, 2022 10:41
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A sweater I purchased was picking up static electricity.
So I decided to return it.
He gave me another one, free of charge.
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Well, that must have brought you down to earth, Ed.
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A new way of charging your mobile phone. A highly efficient micro turbine driven generator ducted to your asshole, all nicely concealed in your pants. A good fart and whop 10% extra charge on your phone.
Now you are sitting in a restaurant and "beep, beep, beep" damn my phone needs recharging. Waiter, oh waiter, would you bring me a large serving of beans please.
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#440 Reply
Posted by
BU508A
on 30 Jul, 2022 13:02
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Q: If your Tesla is stolen, is it now called an Edison?
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#441 Reply
Posted by
madires
on 30 Jul, 2022 14:00
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BTW, those Tesla cars have DC motors.
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#442 Reply
Posted by
Ed.Kloonk
on 30 Jul, 2022 21:07
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BTW, those Tesla cars have DC motors.
And not a single bulb is Edison Screw. (I'll bet)
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#443 Reply
Posted by
TimFox
on 30 Jul, 2022 21:14
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working in a waferfab you deal with lots of chemicals. silicontetrachloride , isopropanol....
The new operators were easily fooled. You'd send them to the warehouse for a bottle of elektaminol.
Flemish translation : he licks my ass ...
That, or a pair of scissors to cut the wafers , or a tank of vacuum ..
Medical equivalent:
When I was working as an orderly in a hospital as a teenager a common joke was to send the new guy or gal down to Central Supply for
A Fallopian Tube
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#445 Reply
Posted by
BU508A
on 12 Aug, 2022 17:41
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#446 Reply
Posted by
BU508A
on 15 Aug, 2022 07:21
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Q: How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
A: Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
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#447 Reply
Posted by
daqq
on 15 Aug, 2022 10:24
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The Small Frog Collider failed to provide any new insight into frog biology. Need to go to higher energies.
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#448 Reply
Posted by
JohanH
on 15 Aug, 2022 11:21
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working in a waferfab you deal with lots of chemicals. silicontetrachloride , isopropanol....
The new operators were easily fooled. You'd send them to the warehouse for a bottle of elektaminol.
Flemish translation : he licks my ass ...
That, or a pair of scissors to cut the wafers , or a tank of vacuum ..
If we are into other languages... New students at Swedish speaking vocational schools were occasionally fooled to fetch the "ögonmått" (literally "eye ruler") to the machine shop, like it would have been some kind of real ruler or measurement tool. In reality the word means to estimate a distance using eyesight only. Not anything funny about it, other than if they went with it. There were other imaginary devices and tools that I can't recall now...
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(I heard the original in Finnish, so this might not translate too well, what with rhythm being key in humor and all. Sorry about that.)
An ob/gyn doctor grew weary of his profession, and decided to switch to something much simpler: car mechanics.
He went to a vocational school to get certified. There was a test, where he had to take apart and rebuild an engine, while being observed and evaluated.
The evaluator said that while it was not the fastest nor the most impressive engine rebuild he'd ever seen, it was certainly the first time he had ever seen or heard it done without opening the bonnet at all, all through the exhaust pipe.
